Figments of Your Affection
by Mukky
Summary: [RikuRoxas] With the return home of the unlikely heroes of Kingdom Hearts, Roxas comes to realize just how lonely he truly is... And how a Nobody can battle their emotions, even without a heart.
1. Lost in Constellations

**Author's Note(s)**: This is the first part of a prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that.

And lots of Roxas-emo.

**This particular story's prompt**: Whispers of the night.

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"What's it like... Not to have a heart?"

It was a question Sora had long since adopted following his return to Destiny Islands, where his gaze would stray to the heavens, lost in the sea of stars as clouds drifted in an aimless manner; leaning against the perch of his window-sill, the brunette would allow a hand to dangle idly from the second story of his home, listening to the quiet wash of waves against the beach as he waited.

And yet knew no answer would come.

For how could one know what it was like when they hadn't a heart to realize what they had missed?

Roxas was often the victim of inquiries in these late hours of the night, where Sora could find no rest and thought to entertain him and the persona within. And though the blond could appreciate this tactic.. He almost found himself resenting this attempted conversation, the pull and tug of a stranger otherwise lost to him, and he simply using his body as a vessel.

_What's it like to exist?_

Through Sora, Roxas lived, seeing through eyes that did not belong to him, moving with legs that he could never operate. Hands would grasp wooden planks as feet blindly groped for purchase, and together, they would scale a ladder. But where Sora would become labored with fatigue, Roxas was not plagued, for he did not breathe, his heart did not beat, and he wasn't limited to a need of oxygen to cleanse his burning lungs. He was a parasite, hosted by a hero who had birthed him with sacrifice, bringing him into a world of misery and loneliness. He could not hate, he could not love, he could not feel anything at all.. And yet beneath the emptiness, he recognized the lonely lull of the world around him.

Often, when Sora was asleep, Roxas would detach himself and wander the beach, eventually taking rest on a wooden dock. His gaze would swim across the vast ocean, mesmerized by the waves, watching them fall against the white sand just beneath his reach, and yet never would he feel its warmth between his toes. Never would the salt of the sea lick at his feet, chilling him to the bone on a warm, summer day, with the hot sun beating from above.

He could hear the sounds of the world beyond him, and see it within its splendor.. But he would remain lost to its cradle.

It was periods such as these, where midnight was its bleakest, the horizon smothered in the gloom of darkness, that Roxas enjoyed the most; quietly, the wind whispered to him, his eyes carried to the depths beyond the world and he wondered... Just how far did this land stretch? If he was to take a boat, a manufactured raft of sticks, and logs, and crude lengths of rope... What regions would he reach?

It was an idea, he realized, selected from the memories of Sora. The boy's youth had played like a film through his mind, and with countless hours did Roxas witness a life he would long to live, but never grasp within his hands. A child-hood, as a baby, to an infant, to a tumbling toddler and eventually a child.. A teenager, a young adult, gradually slinking through life and toward the greatest adventure yet, where death would take one into its cold embrace.

And that was the end.

Roxas did not love, and he would not die, at least not until Sora met his fate.. And then what? What would become of him? A person without friends, without company, without anyone to mourn his passing.. Axel had died, one of few who had claimed their existence of a heart, one of fewer yet that had accepted him. Someone who did not exist, and could not. They had been simple figments.

As he sat upon the dock, hands gripping the aged wood beneath his palms, he would feel the approach of a familiar presence, only known to him through a repeat of experiences.. And the thoughts of Sora's mind. Edging from the darkness and the safety of a small boat, the figure would pace the length of surface, footfalls heavy yet measured in their approach. Then, pausing at the end of the berth would his legs buckle beneath him, and with the grace not meant to be composed in such a tall individual, would he settle at the harbor's edge.

Roxas has often wondered about the being of Riku, his attention focused upon the company that did not realize he was there, the other void; with a leg bent beneath a raised arm, the other youth would lounge, luxurious in nature, elegant, but dangerous. He recalled having fought him, not once, but a great number of times.. And Riku, spent beneath his power, would make an eventual retreat, leaving the blond in the clutches of a world where he did not belong, and where he acknowledged it was so. Or as it went, until finally, he was defeated.

Often, did Sora express the eternal desire to see his home, to rediscover his best friend, and for them to make their leave together. And while Roxas had been convinced this was a desire shared by the youths, watching the separate party, he could only muse.

How many countless nights, accompanied by the twilight, had Riku sought the shadows for response? With his eyes into the bleak never-land, expression empty and guarded from his thoughts, what was it he sought as he sat, stilled, mind churning for solutions?

What was it he had lost.. And now yearned to regain?

Roxas had often been jealous of Sora's relationship with his friends, his own longing for those he believed to once have - Olette. Pence. Hayner - ever overwhelming in the darkness of his mind. And while Sora could gloat in the memories of yore, Roxas lived without, a mere audience to a life he recognized as his host's, he wishing for nothing more than to gain something of similar value.. And to be recognized. Loved. Cared for.

"What's it like..."

Riku's words would be swept aside by the ocean's roar as a wave tumbled into the harbor, but neither moved to escape the spittle of the sea. Lapsing into a brooding nature, the male's features would twist with debate, mind groping to recognize the thought lost to him. And Roxas would remain, patient for this discovery, curious to this incomplete statement.

Frequently did Riku visit the pier to question the darkness of the evening, often remaining to watch as dawn graciously approached, only to leave when the tiniest peak of light hit the far horizon. And there, Roxas would stay in his wake, deliberating what oddities Riku would mumble the next time they happened across each other, though the other never realizing he was far from alone in these tyrants.

"... Not to exist?"

Cut from his thoughts, Roxas blinked at this inquiry, bemused yet equally disheartened to hear the somber tone tugging at Riku's voice. Thoughtfully, he turned to watch the other lean back against his arms, hands planted upon the jetty as his head canted back to regard the stars. With a quiet sigh, the male's chest rose, then fell, and again silence surrounded them with the stereo of the ocean smothered in their quiet.

Was it common for those with an existence to wonder such? For those who contained a past, a future, even a present.. Why would the idea of _not_ thriving with life cross their mind?

Unable to keep the frown that sullied his features, the blond would shift as he came to rest upon his knees, peering into Riku's face as the other did not notice. Eyes lost to the constellations that resided above, his gaze tracked the paths he had often traced as a child, Sora seated at his side and often staring wonderingly to the heavens above...

Silently, Roxas directed his gaze to follow his company's, finding nothing of immediate interest before he would settle to regard the male once more. His facial did not change, and he remained rested against the wood, the slow intake of breath, and his exhale the only evidence he remained of this living realm. Passively, the youth lifted his hand to tenderly caress a cheek beyond his touch, his digits seeping through flesh he could only assume to be warm. Withdrawing his hand, and gazing at his pristine fingertips, he brought the fist to clench, and struck the platform beneath him.

What was it like not to exist?

One couldn't feel the warmth of another's skin beneath their hand, the gentle brush of breath against their throat as they were embraced in the security of strong arms. One couldn't hear the gentle pulse of a heart-beat, feel it throb against the chest, a rhythmic banter, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump...

One couldn't taste the clean, fresh air of the beach front, skirt along the sea's grip as the waves tickled the countless soles of feet. They couldn't smell the alluring fragrance of the world around, the seasoned fruit of the summer wind, the bitter salt of the ocean, the musky scent of a friend...

Dropping to settle at Riku's side once more, Roxas' brows knitted with confusion, a countless time for such desperate thoughts to sully his apathy; when had this attachment come? Had it bloomed for the desire of a friend, for a familiar that would accept him, despite his flaws, his differences, his mistakes.. Accept him despite he could not live, would not age, and would never die?

Or had it come from the memories that did not belong to him.. And yet he had embraced them, drawing from the experiences of the past a life for which he longed?

With a gradual brush of action, Roxas dropped his hand to rest atop one of Riku's, fingers curling to grasp the limb, though his digits sank into his skin. For a moment, he did nothing but held the hand of a prior adversary, a yearned friend, a desired company.. The only person to ever grace him with his presence, and yet not realize the fulfillment he gave one individual every night by merely existing.

There came a quiet rustle of cloth as Roxas drew himself near the former force of darkness, leaning into a figure that could not hold him, and he sighed as his brows knitted with frustration... And then dismay.

"I'll tell you... When you can tell me what it's like... Not to have a heart... And yet it hurt so much..."

For though Roxas, told within his being of a nobody, had firmly grasped the truth that he had no heart, yet it truly felt as though his were beating. And at this moment, it was also breaking.


	2. Miscommunications

**Author's Note(s):** Finally, the second part of the RikuRoku challenge I'm presently participating in. As mentioned prior, this is a slight AU in consideration that.. Well.. I doubt Nomura would intend these two boyos to be together Nice thought though.

**This particular story's prompt**: Sake of Love

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"I think Riku's in love."

For an instant, Roxas felt a sting of apathy as Sora made the observation, but the brunette's attention quickly swayed toward simple distraction. Unable to find particular reason to be concerned, the blond said nothing in return, allowing his host the opportunity to find peculiar interest in a shiny object, the nobody's mind fairly preoccupied within itself. What was it his business if Sora's best friend was finally discovering the realm of love he had so often been surrounded by?

To some extent, Roxas realized he had come to resent the other male who had frequented his company in the recent past; where once stood mild admiration for the sole individual who had managed to defeat him now resided a pale fury, he unable to comprehend this youth named Riku. Already, the taller male had demonstrated a lack of gratitude, recklessly ignoring a simple matter Roxas longed to obtain.

But such wishes were for fairytales, and he did not live in a world where he would live happily ever-after.

More frequently did he desire to detach himself from his other, continuing to grace the dock with his presence, though having to share this limited space with an entirely enthusiastic Selphie. He couldn't understand why she appeared so eager to thrive, and yet so little managed to drag her from her perch of happiness, the girl nearly glowing with friendly warmth. Maybe it was this warmth that eventually caused Roxas to edge away. It was not his place to be happy anymore.

Yet how could he have ever known happiness? He didn't have a heart to understand the emotion, nor could he distinctively remember a time where he thought he felt a remote imitation of such a feeling. Common sense didn't want to allow it, for him to fabricate the idea that somewhere, at sometime, he had "lived" for the sake of seeing each new day because he had once been content. In reality, he'd only lived to protect Sora and his memories. Or so it had been, according to DiZ.

Without a particular destination, and his stolen from him during the exclusive hours of daylight, Roxas took to wandering the lengths of Destiny Islands. It was a tropical paradise, lush with life as towering palm trees swayed against the wind, refuge to crying gulls and their young. The ocean lapped at the beach, crashing into a harsh rock-face toward the southern end where a staggering mountain of cliffs overlooked the endless sea. And in the distance, the blue horizon kissed the salty realm, clouds clustered as they drifted in sight as though calling to him, urging the nobody to follow in their leave, the quiet coo of the ocean a mere reminder he didn't belong.

This was not his world. It wasn't his home.

He spent countless hours admiring the scenery without appreciation, fingertips gracing the rough bark of trees and walls of ivy, toying at leaves that dominated him in size, playing peek-a-boo with roaming wild-life. And though there was no amusement to be had, he found himself almost calmed for the first time since his arrival, as though he was pleased for this isolated solitude. Even Namine had ceased to visit, one of very few who would ever call upon his company. She had said he changed... He would claim he'd never been the person she thought him to be in the first place. Nobody's don't change. They remain constant, void of everything save an imprint on a face that was never theirs. Their entire being was stolen, something he had thought his acquaintance to know, if not understand. Had it not been _she _who had shattered his blissful reality? Tore him from the clutches of a pixilated world, where he had had friends? Albeit fake, simple imitations of those who truly existed.. But they had been his nonetheless.

Hence, Roxas merely explored, pacing the expanse of the island without intentions of visiting the others. Sora's home held little interest to him, the neighborhood crowded and cramped.. And a painful reminder that he had lost what had once mattered. There was little use clinging to frail hopes and dreams of the past, however.

When he had come to know the land, where no stranger resided was a stranger to him, he instead directed his attention to those who often frequented the beach, the crude walk-ways, the hidden treetops and forts built into the sturdy branches of trees. These were the curious sights to observe, children in their natural habitat, groping blindly for their quickly fleeting childhood as the responsibility of an adult loomed over them. Soon, they'd be too old to play with sticks and stones, and would carry brief-cases in their place, dressed in suits instead of casual shorts, drawn into the busy world that moved without them. For now they were still young, and it was their youth they were to cherish.

For some time, Roxas debated his subject of fancy, easily bored with the comings and goings of the duo Wakka and Tidus; they were mediocre at best, far too amused by their own stupidity or obliviousness and he immediately reminded of his abandoned host. Kairi, though intelligent, also failed to amuse him, for he knew within her, she carried Namine... And the other blond had already demonstrated a lack of desire to be accompanied by his person for the time being. Selphie, he was attempting to avoid for she nearly seemed contagious as Roxas found himself grinning one day, then the gesture lost to him at the realization of this action.. Sora? He knew him inside and out, though he could admit, the brunette did have periods of temporary entertainment, though this generally at the sacrifice of his dignity.

Thus, that left Riku. Again was he fixated upon the eldest youth of the group though never had Riku displayed any particular reason to be watched, analyze, observed as he interacted with those around him. And yet there Roxas would remain, settled nearby on a staircase, chin propped against his fist as he simple watched, attempting to understand the complicated nature of the silver-hair male.

Riku did not play, he did not initiate stupidity, though he did often laugh when in the company of Sora. And Roxas would debate _why_ Riku was amused by this obvious contrast, _why _he sought to keep company with the smaller boy, _why _he appreciated _this _factor in his life, but not his life as an entirety.

_"What's it like... Not to exist?"_

_"I think Riku's in love."_

It was a combat of remarks as the blond would weigh either, his bitterness mounting to believe someone could disregard the gift they had been given, and yet he curious as to whom the subject of Riku's affections may be. Watching him amounted to little discovery as Riku did not react differently with his friends, near brooding in nature from what Roxas could assume... And yet he acknowledged the other was likely more thoughtful than the rest, careful of what was said, if anything was said at all. He was very guarded, though for what reason.. The blond could not understand.

A portion of him wanted to correct Sora, that Riku's behavior did not reflect that of a love-sick fool - not that Roxas could necessarily recognized one with such symptoms. And yet as he dwelled upon the thought, he _did _begin to notice slight changes in the male's mannerisms, albeit small and otherwise overlooked by the general public.

For extended periods of time, especially in exchange of lengths of silence, Riku would gaze at Sora in a manner, not at all uninviting but nearly... Yearning. Longing to reach out and touch him, his hand so often resolving to twitch, but it forced to remain at his side. And it was through this that the blond realized how much of himself Riku suppressed, fighting aside foreign urges as he would only admire his best friend, a smile briefly gracing his lips before the expression once more lost to him, and he averting his gaze as Sora felt his eyes upon him. It was a sickening display.

His visits to the dock became less frequent with time, and soon, Riku didn't come at all. But Roxas would remain, gazing across the ocean as his chest bleated with sour sensation, hands tightly gripping the dock to remind him there was nothing for him in this world; he was alone, isolated by his distaste, stranded for he had finally grasped the bitter truth of his situation.. He would not live a lie, he refused it.

Within this, his loneliness began to mount, and he gradually came to acknowledge its presence as well. Riku had filled a void with his person, no matter how meager it may have seemed that Roxas could not interact with a prior king of darkness. The simple fact there had once been _someone _to take the place of another at his side had been enough, and Roxas had thrived on the idea of observing the male - much as he continued to do - though without his recently acquired resentment. But how was he to ever like someone who could only neglect their blessings?

The nobody, like many times before, was settled upon the end of the jetty with his gaze distracted by the heavens, admiring the full moon that loomed above the sea. Nay, not a _full _moon, but the _blue_ moon, a disturbing fact he realized to have known as he emended his folly; had it truly been that long since he had come, he wondered? What of the other of XIII, save those who had perished at the hand of Sora... Where were they now? Were they much like him, embraced by their hosts? Or were they living a lie, continuing to convince them that somewhere, somehow, they would manage to find their hearts, and truly begin to exist?

The cry of the ocean against the beach brought Roxas back to the earth, and he nearly started at the familiar approach of footfalls. Resisting the urge to turn to regard the rapidly advancing company, he steeled himself with his gaze upon his feet, regarding the space where his reflection may have once resided; slowly, Riku drew himself into sight, easing upon the edge of the harbor with his leg casually drawn beneath his elbow, a position he had so often adopted when settled upon the dock. And as many times before, he said nothing, attention lost to the world beyond the horizon as his eyes searched the depths of darkness, he finally releasing a quiet sigh.

Very slowly did Roxas find it within himself to finally look upon his company, blinking at the sight of the youth in the moonlight; a celestial glow surrounded him, illuminating his fair complexion and fairer hair, he absolutely serene in presence. And yet it was not the alluring charm which embodied him... But his expression. There it was again, the mark of a pale smile with his attention drowning in the draft of his thoughts, adrift at the mercy of his noticed desire.

Even now when he visited Roxas, he was thinking of _Sora_.

Savagely, the blond drew himself to his feet as a cold spark of rage seared through him, and he felt his fists ball by instinct. He could not comprehend where this fury was contained, or why he beckoned it so immediately, but he accepted it, glowering at the sight of his other's best friend with thoughts of his host sullying his mind.

What was so _great_ about Sora, Roxas wanted to demand. What made him so different, so worthy of these sentiments? Sora would not notice them, nor would he care. He wouldn't share them with Riku, he wouldn't understand why they existed. It was an endangerment to their friendship, a dangerous contribution to the relationship that had already been endangered by darkness.Why _Sora_, a stumbling idiot once destined to save the world, and had he not the aid of numerous others, he would have blundered the very being of the entire universe? He didn't _deserve_ Riku's attention, his friendship, his _love_. There was _nothing_ about Sora that Roxas did not contain, and in fact, he was _better_ than that other youth, that other boy, the other _child_ --

Suddenly, Roxas realized his mistake. Gaze widening at the sudden profession, the youth balked with surprise, anger sizzling to as though his heat had been diminished with the spray of the ocean.

It was not _Riku_ Roxas felt so inclined to resent... But S_ora_.

Roxas was _jealous_.

"I... I like Riku..." And then he felt it, deep within the cavity of his chest as a hand sought to grip the front of his shirt, features twisting with his dismay; Riku was attracted to Sora.. But Roxas, in the face of love... "I... Really like..."

There it was again, the unmistakable pain; and may it been the phantom throb of his heartache as he acknowledged his longing, he thought he felt the gentle rhythm of his heart.. And as it skipped a beat to find Riku gazing toward him. No.. At him, Riku's mouth working silently before the older male's expression churned with confusion.

"...What?"


	3. Dark of the Night

**Author's Note(s)**: This is the third part of a prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that. 

And lots of Roxas-emo.

**This particular story's prompt**: Once in a Blue Moon.

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"What.. Did you say?"

Riku hadn't shifted from his place at the edge of the harbor, his gaze hard upon the familiar sight. But Roxas wasn't listening, nor did he seem entirely present as his hand pressed firmly against his chest, fingertips fisted into the material of his shirt.

_Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump_.

Without rhyme or reason, the blond stumbled along the dock, skirting across its surface before his feet managed to find balanced purchase. His _heart _was beating. But as a nobody, with a near equivalence of a i _heartless_ /i , he wasn't supposed to have a...

"Why are _you _here?" Abruptly drawn back to reality - his reality as well, it seemed - Roxas regarded the other male at length as Riku continued to survey him with a nature he could only accept as hostile. Pleased for the slight distance between them, the blond said nothing for a long instant, mind realing to recall what he had last uttered...

He really liked Riku... And Riku had heard it.

"... What's it to you?" he remarked stiffly as his brow furrowed, and a frown crossed his lips. Casually, the other rose from his place at the end of the jetty, his eyes remaining even with his present company as his difference in height became evident. It was not something Roxas had often ignored, nor had he overlooked it.. But now that he was a visible party, somehow, he felt as though he were meant to be threatened... And his heart did race.

Resisting the urge to step aside as Riku stepped forward, Roxas held his ground, struggling to accept his prior confession, and now the terrible pounding against his ribcage. Either were alien but... Which was meant to be of greater concern?

"Roxas! Move! You can't just stand there!" The voice erupted through a tense silence, but neither flinched nor seemed to recognize the source. In fact, Riku didn't react at all, his focus entirely upon the other male.

"Nothing. But I'm asking--"  
"Roxas! _PLEASE_!"

The blond started quickly, back-pedaling before Riku had an opportunity to complete his reply, though the other youth not entirely prepared to see the nobody's leave without event. But he hadn't a chance as Roxas took across the beach, the sand pulling at his feet as gravity resulted against him, he foreign to this weighed movement. It was chaos, beating into him in threatening torture, entirely too aware that he was not meant to be, and yet he was. His existence was not to be accepted so easily, and he burst through a crude wooden door only to slam it behind him with a shaky breath. The night moaned around him, the quiet hush of the waves against the sand a comforting coo as he found no refuge in this open space.

The soothing lull that had once eased him of torment now made him deaf with misery.

The voice encouraged him through the rough banks of the island, drawing him to the cliff's face he had once visited in his first exploration of the cluttered land. And as he stared across the ocean into the night, chest heaving and his limbs shaking, his knees gave beneath him and he sank to the cold earth below. Lost, he searched the heavens above as he stared into the face of the blue moon, groping blindly for the answers he knew he needed.

_Why... Why is this... _But there would be no one to soothe his worry as he scowled to himself, trembling with his confusion as to why he were here... And what it had been he said to Riku back on the pier.

For someone without a heart, he wasn't meant to love.

------

There was very little for Roxas to do with his discovered being, though he temporarily avoided the frequented portions of the island. More often than not, he lingered in the high grass and trees that skirted the edge of adolescent buildings, his gaze roaming to the adjacent land where the children thrived and roamed. There was no manner for him to travel to that isolated strip of civilization as he hadn't a boat at his disposal.. And he didn't want to maroon another in his place, fully aware of the disadvantages that he now faced as his stomach rumbled with hunger.

He had certainly never thought he'd find himself dependent upon food once again.

Eventually, Sora graced the docks with his presence, and had given the immediate beach a long, searching look. Even from above, Roxas felt a slight swell of anticipation as he _knew _the other was looking for something - _his _Other - though evidently appeared confused by this loss. Numerous times, he was approached by a second party with curious inquiry, and while often honest, they would be turned aside as he rejected their aid, smiling in a goofy nature that could only be composed within the keyblade wielder.

No... Not _the_... But one of.

Sora wasn't alone in that world. Nor had he been, until..

"Roxas?" Having no need to turn to face the brunet, the blond simply continued to gaze into the distance, legs folded before him as he slouched into his lap. "What.. Are you doing?"

Slowly, he persuaded himself to his feet to face the prior hero of light, Sora watching him with a measured curiosity. And as Roxas said nothing to explain the present situation, or even remark to answer his inquiry, the other male simply waited, watching the mirror of his face as the former XIII member deliberated.

"Thinking." Blinking as though this weren't obvious, Sora would slowly nod as he accepted the remark, casually shifting his weight from one leg to the next. Balancing a hand on his hip, he canted his head, completing a full survey of the nobody as Roxas merely allowed it to happen. Was he to oogled at now? Studied like a science specimen?

"So.. You're.. Really here?" Sora asked, as though it weren't obvious by the blond's solid presence before him. And with a numb, slowing sensation, the nobody would manage to nod, awaiting the expected reaction; he was supposed to be trapped within his Other, an addition to his persona he had created in a period of sacrifice. Without him, Sora wasn't whole, he was endangered, he wasn't a true person...

He had every right to be angry.

.. And then Sora hugged him.

Lost as the other youth enclosed him in an embrace, he could feel him _beaming _with excitement, the youth resisting the temptation to jump with a person who knew likely wouldn't. "That's fantastic," he'd reply. "You can finally be here, too."

Sora asked no questions of why, or how, he simply accepted the fact Roxas had managed to find a tear in reality to slip through. He remained entirely enthusiastic, overwhelmed with a private swell of joy that Roxas could not relate, nor did he try to understand, he simply observing the other in his content nature. How could one manage to be so happy? He had suffered through countless trials for the sake of others.. And yet he could manage to smile like that?

Roxas was introduced to Sora's friends as a distant companion, a relative if he must, and they greeted him in a similar nature as Sora had, albeit lacking the hug. They grinned and laughed, included him in their conversations, even attempted to show him the proper use of a crude wooden sword that one boy - Wakka? - had tried to persuade them to abandon. And they shared with each other, nudging Roxas when they joked as though he were laughing with him, visiting these memories of yore, never bashful to say, "Hey Roxas! We're going to the secret place!" and for him to tag along. He was one of them without questions, without doubt.

It reminded him of home. Or a home he once thought to have, a place that had been fabricated to trap him while Sora regained his memories. A place he had been brought, captured by...

_Riku_. The blond's footfalls came to an abrupt halt as he noticed the paused male, the older boy watching him intently as he ceased to follow the entertained company of Tidus and Sora. Regarding the shadow of his thoughts with equal consideration, the blond simply waited, aware of his discomfort at the reminder of an evening before.

"_I really like Riku._"

And of mutual consensus, they'd be on their way, resuming separate paths as they ignored each other's company, though Roxas would always supply the barest glance over his shoulder. He couldn't help but watch him, the subject of his fascination.

The pining blossomed into yearning, and still yet would he catch Riku as he admired the figure of Sora, the other youth entirely oblivious to this nature of longing. The spark of jealousy would reign dominant, and in means to resist subjection to this emotion - feelings were still alien to him, as was the tender beat of his pulse - the nobody would promptly distract himself, feeling his cheeks blaze with color, and ignore the concerned inquiries of the party he may have surrounded himself with.

He would never understand what it was Riku saw in the brunet. And couldn't, because in reality, he was part of him.

But it was that portion of Sora that Roxas wished for Riku to regard in similar admiration.. And yet he knew it would never come. Not in this lifetime. Or the next.


	4. The Little Things

**Author's Note(s)**: This is the fourth part of a prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that. 

And lots of Roxas-emo.

**This particular story's prompt**: Overcompensation

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"Of _course_ he likes you. He just doesn't _realize _it yet."

Turning his head to an all too familiar voice, Roxas observed Selphie as she leaned over the seated figure of another girl, her name lost to him at present. Resting against the security of Selphie's thigh, the older girl played aimlessly with the confessing child's hair, beaming in a nature that could have seared retinas.

"What you _need_ to do is make him _notice_ you."

Not entirely wanting to admit he was curious, Roxas turned his focus back to the crude sword he held within his hand, it dispensed to him from Tidus to make a few repairs to its design. It certainly wasn't meant for adult combat of any caliber, and after a few swipes at a tree, it was often prone to breaking... Who would have thought such a dismal task would have benefited him so well.

The first step to finding a solution to your problem was admitting you _had_ a problem. Okay, so he had a problem. He was fairly attracted to Riku, his other's best friend, and Riku presently didn't acknowledge his existence.

There. Problem accepted.

The second step to finding a solution to your problem was doing something about it. Easier said than done, the blonde rationalized, given he didn't quite know how to approach the situation. It wasn't every day you acknowledged your sexuality... His apparently directed toward Riku-sexual. Exclusively.

With the girls making a given departure as Selphie helped the shorter girl to her feet, the blonde made possibly one of the largest mistakes of his life, deciding to follow them. He didn't quite know what he'd gain from the experience, save a possible lack of brain cells, but without any choice of action on the table... It wouldn't hurt to observe... Right?

The two set sail for the nearby island, Roxas fortunately not limited to remain in their play land. Sora had offered him his boat in exchange he stayed with him - one of that he didn't quite understand how the other benefited - but he had agreed quickly to those terms; having lived within Sora certainly wasn't too different from living _with_ Sora. Save he had adopted the strange habit of hugging him...\

Entering the flourishing market, the blonde found he nearly distracted as they traversed through the main street, Selphie and her companion frequently stopping to peer at random merchandise that did Roxas little good, unless he felt inclined to have a sudden use of make-up. And as far as he could tell, he had decidedly shed his emo-wear back when he left Organization XIII. Certainly no reason to commit to old habits.

It wasn't until they paused at a large floral display that he decided to take notice, perplexed by the idea a girl would want to deliver flowers to a male. But he supposed it depended on the individual... It certainly was a nice thought, the nobody elected, though he far from an expert in the forte of kind gestures. Maybe he just enjoyed the idea.

Pity he lacked what some would consider a munny allowance.

Roxas had left the girls to attend to their shopping needs, they apparently having decided to buy a bouquet of flowers. He, without the present finances, had to see to another solution that would hopefully be equal to the former thought. However, submerging himself into a field of wild flowers was fast losing its flavor. He didn't know what colors Riku happened to like, or if he liked flowers at _all_ for that matter... And his knowledge concerning flowers period was limited to only what he had noticed of Marluxia's garden. Having to make a blind judgment, the blonde had simply collected what he thought looked nice, preparing a crude bouquet that had little rhyme or reason to its design.

The results were not satisfactory; unable to deliver them personally, for possible fear of rejection - why did he _care_? - Roxas had set them on Riku's doorstep to be discovered. Unfortunately, it didn't seem his sinuses were kind to him. Who would have thought stinging nettle could be mistaken for a _flower_?

One failure secured, and he now guilty for the discomfort of the subject of his admiration, it was back to the drawing board. The girls' plan had done little else but bring him torment, so he decided to focus his dependence upon the boys of the island instead. Tidus, particularly.

He had long since suspected that Tidus' relationship with Wakka was far beyond the limitations of a mere _friendship_, but he hadn't the opportunity to gather appropriate evidence to support his theory. They certainly spent ungodly amounts of time together, and yet even when they were apart, their minds were often focused on the other... Or so Tidus had proved as he yapped endlessly of his adventure atop the Paopu Tree out on yonder island to retrieve one of the "legendary" fruit.

Though Roxas found that the reputation of the paopu fruit likely couldn't hold water, it was a curious speculation nonetheless, and something _Riku_ would be familiar with. And all it'd take was a little balance, some patience, and he'd have the star-shaped object in his hand, available to deliver to the other male at some point and date in time...

The task itself, however, proved to be far more difficult than he had imagined. Time had allowed the tree to take a firm root into the island, but the trunk had grown at a horizontal level, jutted out across the ocean. For a long moment, the blonde had only speculated his manner of approach, testing his foot-hold upon the tree a number of times, though determined balance would be more challenging to maintain the further he went out. But he certainly would never know without trying, thus, with a deep breath, a steeled will, he climbed atop the curved bark, and made very slow progress toward where the fruit dangled.

It was a shake and shimmy to cross the wooden plank, his arms elevated from his side to swing his shift of balance. He could feel the eyes of some of the nearby children upon him, watching his slow march as he moved forward, gaze drifting from the approach of the fruit, and the tree beneath his feet. Already, he could see that even by this direct advancement, it'd be slightly out of his reach, but something he'd have to handle as he reached the wide leaves and additional branches.

Catching hold of a strained limb as he drew himself nearer to his given goal, he took a moment to regain himself before his eyes drifted to watch the fruit above. It dangled just over-head, taunting him in a nature that could almost defy gravity... Looking down at his feet and reassuring himself he had a firm purchase, he idled forward, hand remaining upon the branch as his fingertips stretched and sought to brush against the fruit's rough skin.__

Nearly there, he could _feel_ it against his digits, if only he could--

"What are you doing?"

Startled, Roxas turned his head quickly to see Riku standing at the base of the tree, eyes intent upon the blonde as his focus gradually shifted toward the paopu fruit... Only for his attention to shift downward. _Plunk_. Surprised, Roxas turned back to find the fruit had vanished from his reach, though a quick glance to the water below determined it had fallen in his shock.

Unfortunately, the direct realization of how high he was also resulted in a lost of balance. Pin wheeling in a comedic fashion, Roxas caught a brief sight of Riku as he plummet to the water below, hearing the groan-inducing crunch of the skin breaking as he landed atop his intended prize.

Needless, by the time Riku had managed to get to the lower level, the blonde was nowhere to be found, and the fruit had disappeared with his leave.

Irritably, Roxas threw the broken shell against a nearby rock, angry to having made a fool of himself in the presence of the other male. At least the flower mistake hadn't been traced back to him, the other likely assuming it to be a primitive gift from one of his many i adoring /i fans. But this, however... He had seen Roxas trying to get the paopu fruit, he watched as Roxas displayed his grace, or therefore lack of. And he had _acknowledged_ the fact Roxas had also ran away.

Cheeks burning with his humiliation, he dropped his face into the security of his hand, and leaned back against the wooden foundation of a slight look-out fort that resided above.

"--But what if it isn't enough, Selphie?" a female voice whined.

"Then there's only one thing we can do: a make over. All boys appreciate a short skirt, no matter _who's_ in it."

Slowly raising his head from the captivity of his palm, Roxas inclined it back to catch sight of Selphie as she leaned upon the wooden railing. If this just wasn't _convenient_. Their apparent discussion concerning the other girl's issue of attracting someone's eye continuing, the nobody gradually bowed his head with thought, brow furrowing at the idea. _All_ boys? No matter _who_? It didn't hold promise, but after his recent attempts...

Kairi seemed a bit perplexed as why Roxas would want to borrow a skirt from her, though he had supplied a very condensed reason. Apparently without quell, she shrugged off the matter and donated an old school skirt to him from the year previous, stating she had out-grown it and then supplied him with a very peculiar look. A portion of him thought she was fishing for a compliment... The other part didn't rightly care.

And _that_ was likely how Roxas found himself standing before a full length mirror in the adjusted ocean shack, peering at his slightly bare self. The skirt could definitely classify as _mini_, a bit high on the thighs and his boxers accurately adjusted not to show. It was... An uncomfortable sight, nonetheless, and he couldn't quite adjust to it as he turned a complete circle before once more to stare at his own back-side.

It was then decided that he didn't _care_ how much he liked Riku, he wasn't going to humiliate himself a second time by dressing like a girl.

Bending to retrieve his discarded pants with the intention of pulling them on beneath the skirt, he paused as he heard the nearby door click as it was pulled from its place. From the light of the beach, a girl stepped into the shack, bosom guarded with what appeared to be an enormous bouquet of flowers. Of what sort, specifically, Roxas couldn't tell. He immediately recognized her as the child that had been clinging to Selphie with the nature of those starved, considering the older peer to be a messiah of romance.

Her face, however, appeared to be a train-wreck of make-up.

There was a long moment of stilled silence as their eyes fell upon each other, the girl stammering while her mouth worked much like that of a fish. Gaping openly before she was groping blindly for the door, she was quickly shaking her head as a blush took to her lips.

"I-I was just c-coming to see you, R-R-Rox-Rox... O-Oh, I didn't, I mean. I didn't want... Oh please, forgive me." Quickly ducking out as she dropped the flowers at the door, it fell to with a loud clank and he could hear her making a fast departure across the sand. Face heated with the discovery, he mentally kicked himself for having selected such a popular location, his mind failing to realize she had specifically come to see him.

Turning back to the mirror and catching sight of his warmed expression, he frowned at his reflection as the door would only open once again.

"So it's _true_. You _are_ in here in a skirt." Frozen by the voice and in a bent position nonetheless, it took the blonde a painful instant before he was able to look at the mirror once more. Riku stood nearby, hand planted against the doorway, and his gaze focused on what Roxas could assume to be his exposed back-side.

Fan-_fucking_-tastic.

"What are-" 

"Get out."

"You doing-"

"GET OUT!"

Surprised by his own volume, Roxas released a shaky breath, gaze wild with embarrassment as he drew himself into a crouch - no reason to keep delivering Riku a sight. Appearing to contemplate for a long instant, the male finally turned to leave, though paused in the doorway as his fingertips drummed against the wood.

"It's a free beach. You don't have the same authority here as you did in Twilight Town."

Watching the other go, the nobody gradually sank to the floor of the shack, his face lost in the enclosure of his arms as he stared meekly into his bare lap.

A time later, the blonde didn't quite know when, there came a soft rap against the wooden door. He had stripped himself of the skirt in a numb fashion, eventually claiming a wall to lean upon as he gazed at the cracks in the door, watching the light gradually fade. Quietly, the door eased open and the familiar face of Sora peered in at him, appearing to accept what he saw before he stepped within. Saying nothing immediately, the keyblade master moved with a deliberate pace, taking a place near his Other's side as Roxas would only transfer his attention to gaze at his shoes.

For a long while, neither spoke, comfortable with their quiet as Roxas was observed by the other male. But he didn't mind. He'd already been seen making an idiot of himself enough for that day, what was once more going to do?

"... Is something wrong?" Sora finally inquired, lips puckering with a frown. Slowly, the blonde shook his head, drawing his knees against his chest as he resumed using them as a perch for his arms.

"No. Nothing." Aside from the fact Riku likely thought of him as a fool, and he himself without question of it as well.

"So... Why are you hiding?" Supplying Sora with a side-long glance, the blonde gradually sighed before he shrugged, bowing his head against his arms as his cushion, his eyes feeling lazy.

"... Because I'm an idiot."

"No you're not."

Blinking at the other's immediate response, Roxas persuaded himself to look at him, not at all surprised to find Sora's gaze direct, and intent. Meeting his eyes for a long moment, losing himself in the pools of blue that were eerily familiar, he'd only turn away, staring at the far wall with the same intensity as he had prior to the other's arrival; what did Sora know? Riku already adored him. He didn't have to earn his affection, make himself known. He wasn't just another... Nobody.

With the conversation dead between them, they simply resided in the each other's company, one ignoring the other, while the other thought of nothing else but them. Tenderly, Sora placed a hand upon the blonde's shoulder, considering for an instant before he finally brought himself to his feet. Retreating to the door, he paused much as Riku had to peer back to his friend, giving him an award-winning smile. And yet something seemed... Off...

"Just let him know. He's more accepting than you think."

Head lifting as Sora disappeared into the bleak darkness of the night, he quickly staggered to his feet to follow after, feeling as though something were wrong. It just didn't settle right, there was something the brunet was hiding, keeping from him... And yet as he stepped onto the beach from the security of his refuge, Sora was not to be found, lost into the shadows no matter how intently Roxas searched.

But there remained one other.

Seated in his usual manner upon the dock, Riku regarded the constellations as he had so many times before, his hair falling in a sheet of silver behind him. Breath caught by the sight, Roxas simply felt a familiar pulse of longing as it stretched through him, and his brows knitted at the reminder of his idiocy. Turning to disappear once more into the shack, he paused near the opening, Sora's words ringing loudly in his ears; just let him know... He was more accepting than he thought...

Roxas' footfalls fell quietly against the wooden dock, his motion ceasing a few short feet from the other male. Riku didn't turn to greet him as he may have expected, though in hindsight, he didn't find he would have enjoyed such a forward salutations. And yet as time traveled onward, and neither party prepared to initiate conversation, they did little else but regard separate subjects - Riku with his eyes lost in the heavens, and Roxas wounded by the sight of the man he adored.

"Your skirt..."

"Don't." He hadn't come to discuss his mistakes, to be chided at, teased and bullied; he knew he had been moronic in his actions as his fists balled against his side, and he bowed his head with dismay. If he had been smart, he would have approached this differently. If he had known what it was like to have a heart, maybe he could have prepared himself for the heartache he felt, the fear that nearly quaked his knees as he stared at the other male, willing himself to speak, to find the courage, to just tell him. He needed to know. Roxas _needed _him to know.

"I like you." The taller male's head dropped from its inclined position, his features now lost to Roxas' sight as he stared across the ocean, toward the empty and endless horizon. Tension began to pull at the shorter youth, the nobody struggling to keep himself from walking away. It had been said, what else was there to convey? He liked Riku. Straight and simple.

"I know... So tell me something I don't."

Brows furrowing at this sudden voice of authority, Roxas did nothing for a long moment, simply regarding the back of Riku's head and the multiple layers of pale tresses as they fell around his throat. Tell him something he didn't already know?

"Well? I'm waiting."

"I just..." Frowning at himself at the weak start, the nobody watched as the other turned to face him, features sullied by the darkness. "I... Really like you... And I don't know how to tell you. I don't know what I can do to make you realize that. You saw what happened today, and I feel stupid, like an idiot, trying to impress you like some love-sick girl, when all I want for you to do is like me, too. I just want you to acknowledge that I'm here, and maybe you can--"

Riku was on his feet as Roxas spoke, approaching him with a casual swiftness that deterred the blonde's speech. A hand lifted to brush across his cheek, gripping the back of his head as their lips abruptly met, the blonde's eyes wide as Riku kissed him sharply. With an instant of confusion, the shorter male caught the other's wrist as he kissed him back, eyelashes fluttering to the new sensation.

They broke apart to breathe, and Roxas searched the other's eyes, lost within them as his grip tightened upon his wrist. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest, and he reveled in the passion, knowing it was Riku that made his heart race.

Again, their lips came together as Roxas prompt his arms around the other's throat, Riku lacing his own at the smaller boy's waist to pull them together. It was a luxurious exchange, tender and slowed, the two pulling apart an instant more before Riku's forehead dropped against Roxas'.

"This... Is all I need." Unable to mask his confusion, Roxas said nothing as Riku pulled from his embrace, moving to reclaim his place upon the dock. Patting the space beside him, he didn't turn to the blonde as his gaze strayed to the horizon, oblivious to the internal struggle as Roxas fought to understand. Hadn't he been attracted to Sora?

Deciding it of minor importance at present, he slowly stepped forward before he eased himself to sit with the other, Riku's gaze never straying to find his once more. With his hands planted at his sides, he appeared lost in thought, his day-dreams having captured him within their wake. Roxas did not disturb their silence as he watched him, observing the clean features of his face, and he lifted a hand as though to touch him. Then appearing to reconsider, he simply dropped it atop Riku's where it rested, a brief smile claiming his expression as he felt his heart cry with satisfaction.

Slowly, Riku laced their fingers together, pulling the smaller blonde against him to lean upon. And as Roxas sat at his side, waiting for the sun-rise, he realized that he was happy.

And this, too, was all that he needed.


	5. Whole New World

**Author's Note(s)**: This is the fifth part of a prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that. 

And lots of Roxas-emo.

**This particular story's prompt**: Starry Nights

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"You were rather charming in that skirt, you-"

"Shut up."

Roxas felt the pale rumble of a chuckle as he leaned against Riku, though his gaze quickly skirted across the ocean; the dock had became their meeting point, a lone location they knew they could find the other above all else, lost in the bleak hour of the night. The taller male's arms didn't surround the other youth, as he may have desired, but the blond had long since decided that he enjoyed the freedom of simply leaning against his present company, settled between his legs.

Often, they would come and say little, comfortable in their exchange of silence and captivity of their thoughts. Occasionally, Riku's hand would ghost across his cheek, startling him from his thoughts, and the other male would smirk in a nature far from the intent to wound. Roxas in turn would glower, a frown tugging at a mouth Riku had bruised with searing kisses, and again a tender brush of lips would meet the smaller boy's.

It was the quiet moments like these that Roxas had decided he enjoyed most.

Watching the far horizon with an intensity of one stranded at sea, the blond would survey the lengths of the ocean, head canted with deliberation, brow furrowed, and he could feel Riku's eyes upon him. He had become accustomed to being observed, a practice he often selected through their day-light hours and when apart, merely watching from a distance. No one knew of their relationship, and that was how they wished for it to remain. Even Sora was a stranger to this intimacy.

"Riku." Roused from his thoughts, the other male regarded the blond, waiting for whatever reason Roxas had decided to speak; the youth often caught his attention with just the murmur of his name. "Other worlds... Are they out there?"

It was a playful question, one Roxas clearly knew the answer to... But Riku was game for this mischief.

"Yes. But not out there," he replied with a gesture toward the sea. Then leaning over the boy's shoulder, reassured his audience was captivated, he made a slight indication toward the heavens above. "There. That's where other worlds are."

With a deliberate swing of motion, Roxas leaned his head back into Riku's shoulder, gaze now lost in the blanket of stars. Of course he had known the response, all too aware of Sora's journey through one world to the next to cleanse them of heartless... A futile effort, but one valiant nonetheless.

Appearing to muse, the nobody gradually climbed to his feet, Riku moving aside to join him unless he desired a very abrupt view of the other's backside - something he may not have necessarily disliked, had he considered it. With a hand to his mouth, contemplation obvious, Riku again said nothing, merely awaiting what brilliance could come from the other's fluffy, blond head.

Though as a product of Sora, or at least a portion of him, Roxas did manage to contradict his own stereotype.

"I want to see what's out there." Roxas turned swiftly on his feet, departing from the jetty as Riku would watch with absent curiosity. Roxas had familiarized himself with other realms, and his given consideration to the ocean and what world beyond was a bit sudden. Following nonetheless, Roxas proceeded across the beach; Riku fell in step at his side, forcing his attention ahead as he watched their approach toward a tall, wooden wall.

Passing through the limited entrance, the blond paused a moment to mark his surroundings, appearing confident in his stride as he merely carried forward. Across the wooden planks, carefully avoiding the drop of one particular, the nobody lead his tall companion toward a small clove of trees, and paused at a suspicious mound of leaves, stray branches, and ripe coconuts.

Staring at the pile, Riku said nothing, evidently waiting for some conclusion to their arrival. But as Roxas stood near, a pale smirk playing at his lips, he resumed watching the other male.

".. And we're here because...?" Supplying Riku a side-long glance, Roxas stepped forward to tug upon a thick vine, the mountain of debris rustling as it shifted aside from what it laid upon. Dragging a crude raft into sight, the blond turned to him once more, watching Riku's expression carefully as the male guarded his thoughts. Roxas could see the wheels churning, recognizing the idea, though the raft different... A childhood memory, spent at the fate of darkness and the collapse of their world.

"A raft," Riku replied finally, folding his arms across the width of his chest, attention lifting to survey the other male. In turn, the nobody nodded, crouching beside the small jumble of logs tied together with multiple lengths of rope.

"I watched the kids built it not too long ago," he explained without clarifying the particular time. "They hid it here... But I doubt they remember it." Apparently satisfied with his discovery, he collected the vine into his hands once more, and proceeded to escort it to the wet sand below.

"Roxas, a raft isn't going to take us to new wo--"

"We'll see. How about you help me?" Deciding to at least humor the smaller male, Riku wrapped a lace around his wrist, and the pulling became ultimately easier... Nothing of which Roxas would admit openly.

Eventually coaxing the other to push it into the sea, the pair struggled against the waves, coughing at the occasional crash as it fell upon them, atop them, throwing them aside or washing them back toward the shore. And though it was a frustrating game, one that demanded limitless patience, Roxas found himself nearly laughing in the midst of his raw nerves, it contagious as he heard Riku submit a small chuckle.

Their efforts were in vain as they operated independently, bouncing ideas off of each other yet never combining their forces. Several attempts to take the raft to sea were quickly overwhelmed no matter how they advanced; a single passenger with another pushing did little well for either party, the person generally seated upon the raft swept aside by the tide. A barrel of laughs, for sure, had bruising not become a sudden issue. Apparently, there were rocks in the water.

Some heave-ho's later, and tired persons, they had managed to get the secured bundle of logs afloat from the shore, though panted quietly in their labor. One had expressed the idea the raft would tear apart before they were able to see it upon the ocean, and yet there they resided, sprawled upon their backs side by side, feet hanging over the edge into the warm water. Quietly, they regarded the skies above, stars twinkling in a silent chorus as the light ping-ponged across the heavens.

"Riku." Again with the peculiar habit. "... Why... Why did you choose me?"

A stilled hush fell between them as Roxas waited, hearing the wood groan as Riku's weight was redistributed. Glancing back to find the other male seated, the blond gradually struggled from his position, his back to the other company with his focus at his feet. The reflection shuddered at his gaze, rippled by the constant roll of the sea.

"I didn't." Feeling a slight spark of dismay, the blond wrestled it aside as he kept his head bowed, hands gripping the log he primarily sat upon; he should have known that this was likely too good to be true. He was a nobody, only a portion of a person, never meant to be whole. Romance were for those of natural birth, not mistakes, able to convey emotion to each other, albeit awkward from time to time.

The raft whined as Riku moved behind him, likely becoming more comfortable on his hold. Though Roxas briefly deliberated the chances that the other would slip into the water, and simply swim back to shore. Unlikely, but possible for one who wished to escape a wounding instant.

Two arms abruptly surrounded him as he felt himself tugged against a lap all too familiar, and the blond canted his head back to regard the other male as he situated himself around the smaller figure. "My heart did."

Riku quirked a pale grin as Roxas' features soften, a habit the other male had fostered long before his affection for his other's best friend were known. Lifting his hands, he gripped at Riku's arms, holding upon him in a manner similar to the tight embrace. Gaze now focused upon the taller male, he searched Riku's handsome features, wishing to find evidence as to why, and longing to understand what it is that drew Riku to him.

Countless times had Roxas picked through his other's memories to admire the thoughts of Riku, watching the period of his child-hood as he became a leader, a role model for the younger children, someone they strived to be one day. He was confident, strong, but compassionate, caring for his friends to a dangerous caliber that would eventually draw him into the darkness... And yet he prevailed, he had struggled and fought against the hand of shadows, all for the sake to save his best friend.

... But at a particular sacrifice for another.

"... Why?" The query came in an airy sigh, Roxas nearly afraid Riku had not heard it, and he without an intention to repeat. Wetting his lips at the sudden rise of his nerves, he anxious for the answer, his companion's features would convey only confusion.

"Why what?"

"Why... Why did you betray me?" The word felt inaccurate, i betray /i , there having never been an alliance between the two in the period Riku had delivered Roxas to DiZ. And yet the blond couldn't help but feel pained by the idea, recalling all too vividly their countless encounters, their battles, the constant wash of rain as they struggled against the other's powers...

A futile battle. For what?

"I..." Listening, always listening, Roxas simply waited, watching as Riku struggled to express what was on his mind. And though fearful for what he may hear, he bit aside his impatience, grip almost slack upon the other male's arms. With a sigh, Riku pulled him taut against his chest, lips brushing against the other's ear. "I didn't want you to stop smiling..."

Perplexed, the blond gave a slight breath at the teasing sensation of the male's lips against his earlobe. Closing his eyes as he hunched his shoulders, he bowed his head forward, only to allow his gaze ghost along the surface of the mirrored sky above.

"Why would I-"

"He would have turned you into a dusk."

_Xemnas_. Yes... Roxas could recall that. Axel's assassination attempt, sent to either retrieve him or destroy him, either way... A pitied betrayal, Axel ferried in the wake of their Superior to handle their mess, only for him to die in the end as well...

So many futile battles. So much lost, so much death...

"You don't have to worry," the nobody murmured as he collected Riku's arms around himself, a pale smile gracing his lips. "As long as I have you... I'll keep smiling." He felt the other smile against his cheek before a soft brush of lips teased the skin, and he anticipated a slight shudder to ride through him.

"And why is that?" Riku asked, loosening his grip as the other turned in his lap, drawing a leg beneath him as a hand came to rest against Riku's torso. For a long instant, Roxas said nothing, simply peered into the familiar features of the male's visage, tenderly lifting a hand to caress his face with his fingertips.

".. You've shown me a new world." Almost skeptical in relay, Riku's brows hiked high beneath his hair, and he gave their surroundings a glance of thought, clearly finding no mass of land save for the one they had presently abandoned.. And hopefully intended to return to.

"Where?" Gingerly, Roxas took Riku's wrist into his hand as he lifted the limb from his lap, carefully adjusted for his palm to press against the blond's chest. And as Riku felt the idle beat of the youth's heart against his skin, he waited, bemused by this apparent new world his company had discovered.

".. Right here." Smile almost embarrassed, Roxas released Riku from his grip, though the hand would only remain, balanced against the smaller male's person as he followed the soft pitter-patter of his heart. And as his gaze lifted to search the features of the nobody, the other to his best friend, Riku would seek his lips in a tender kiss, Roxas clinging to him with an affectionate hunger.

Beneath the starry nights of the heavens, together they could explore, and rediscover realms lost to them. For without darkness, only light resided. And within each other, they could always prevail.

Always.


	6. Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note(s)**: This is the sixth part of a **TEN** part prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that.

And lots of Roxas-emo. :) Please review

**This particular story's prompt**: Blueberries

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"I'm dreaming."

The statement had come more as an iniative of realization, the blonde's focus swiveling over the dark heavens above; long since had he been familiar with the surroundings of the World that Never Was, listening to the quiet chatter as the rain fell against the walk. The clouds shuddered in their pregnancy as thunder rolled against the horizon, lightning folding across the sky as it briefly illuminated the world below. And without their grand mercy the skyscrapers remained, intimidating as they reached to the greatest regions of the earth, a serious pain in the neck if one found it within themself the temptation to look at their peaks.

Silently, Roxas traveled forward, aware of the painful recall as his footfalls kept time with the rain. And while his arms swayed thoughtlessly at his sides, he approaching a place all too familiar, he didn't dare chance a glance toward the eons above, entirely prepared for what awaited him.

_"__What's it like... Not to have a heart?"_

The former Organization member stilled in the grand courtyard as his attention drifted, following the pale silhouettes of figures as they struggled from the earth. And yet without deliberance, his gaze gradually traced the line of the nearest building, choked with the formal detail before his eyes settled on what resided above.

There he was, in all his graceful splendor. Arms stretched from his sides, and his head inclined, Riku kept a firm purchase upon the building, otherwise lost to those below. The rain whipped around him, shifting the alluring silver locks of his hair, a smile staining his lips to what private humor the isolation of his mind may include. And while Roxas observed him, he felt a pulse of admiration, impressed by the other's bold tactic to stand upon the edge of such a height and tempt what death awaited. What would have come if the wind had shifted...

_"What's it like..."_

An overwhelming cry caught through his ears, and the youth resisted a shudder as he turned, watching the rise and fall of countless Heartless as they leapt upon him. They traversed through his figure, mere appiritions of a place that had once been, Riku settled upon the ground as he spoke furiously to the blonde. Yet no words escaped his lips, mouth moving with an inaudibly nature despite the fact he had clearly heard the other's voice.  
_  
"... Not to exist?"  
_  
Shrugging aside his alarm as he recognized such words, Roxas had a moment to reaction before an object sailed past his head, brushing against his ear and immediately encouraging his turn. It was in this process that he noticed Riku struggling to his feet, still blind in his fury, yet he not a matter of concern at the time; he recalled this instant with severe clarity, he declaring silence - "Shut up" more appropritately - before he had completed their brief tirade with a clean clock upside the other's head.. And while it had not been a satisfying victory, it had allowed him the illusion he was someone, had meant to be someone, and this would never change.

.. And yet he had been damned to failure.

Watching the object skip along the ground, it rolled to a gradual stop and Roxas brought himself to step forward, recognizing the raised grooves of a ball he so often saw Wakka wielding. The blitzball as the other affectionately called it rested against the walk, as lifeless as any animate object perhaps was meant to be. And yet unable to fight aside his skeptism, the youth felt the abrupt idea that if he were to move nearer to the ball it would certainly spring to life, jottling around the enclosure with a wicked personality.

_"I think Riku's in love."_

The quiet chatter of laughter swallowed the eerie silence of the rain, and the boy lifted his chin to the salted breeze of the sea as it devoured him. Waves lapped at his feet as the darkness gave way to a startling light, trees shading the aclove and the sand wet beneath his boots. The leather jacket constricted around him before it melted into his flesh, revealing the residue of his normal attire before he brought himself to turn and regard the clear surface of the ocean. It gleamed against the reflection of the sun, a warmed afternoon as the heat beat upon the island with a fearless aggression.

Again, the quail of chuckling startled his awareness, and Roxas once more turned to regard its source, it however lost to him with the simple approach of rushing feet. Yet he noticed the dip of the sand as it constricted to the weight of an unseen force, he stumbling aside to allow the pass of invisible children in their granted delight. And while he could not see their faces, nor detect from where they had come.. He knew to whom these ghost voices resided, familiar to the memory of Sora, Kairi and even Riku rushing across the sand in their play.

But it had not been his memory to have, and therefore it was not his to keep.. Nor truly remember.

Feeling the fragments of his mind gradually falling apart, Roxas struggled to move forward, reminding himself that his pressing insanity was a simple figment of his dreamworld. He wasn't truly losing his memories.

... Or was he?

"_What.. Did you say?"_

_Nothing_, Roxas longed to respond as he climbed the enclosed staircase within the shack, fingers trailing across the splintered wood before he shuffled through a doorway. A bridge stretched before him, leading to an island he recalled Sora claiming as Riku's, the latter more often than not found perched upon the rumored paopu tree in his speculation. And for a moment, the blonde remained, afraid to step upon the wooden platform, humoring the idea that perhaps it wasn't as solid as he believed.. And he would fall to the level below.

Sora, Riku and Kairi stood huddled nearly out of sight, and Roxas felt prompt to investigate their secrecy. And though his mind had decided their reasoning, logic demanding he had been present - in some manner of speaking - for such an event, he could not fight his curiosity to witness the gradual shift of their persons with the realization they may be needed...

The ache that came to the sight of Riku's smile as he stood just near Sora's shoulder pained Roxas, and he lifted a hand to touch the wounded portion of his chest. While he did not understand this oddity, he rationalized it was the sight of Riku's happiness that hurt him so.. And knowing he had yet to see Riku reflect such a passive smile for his simple company.

_"So.. You're.. Really here?"_

They moved in an abrupt rush, Roxas throwing his hands forward as they did not see him in their approach. And yet as they ghosted through his flesh, his very skin and bone, he remained startled in position, blue eyes impossibly wide with the chilling recall of a memory he had thought to have forgotten.

_Hayner. Pence. Olette._ Gradually did his arms fall back to his side and a bitter frown stole across his lips, his feet carrying him forward to stand upon the sanded patch of this separate island. For an instant, he simply glowered at the earth below, wanting to summon his keyblades as he so often did and swing them into the sweet soil. He wanted to blame a source for his pain, wanted to find reasoning to hate this place and everyone in it, wanted to.. Know why it hurt so damn much.

With a quiet sigh, Roxas lifted his eyes from his feet, focus swimming across the world touching the horizon as the sea was swallowed into the sky. A speck of ebony danced across vision, sparked as it churned, whined and sauntered as others gradually joined the first, eventually consuming the whole of heavens as the island shuddered with dismay. A heavy weight fell upon sand, and he stumbled to maintain his balance, twisting to catch sight of the dark being the towered above. Its yellow eyes peered at him, gleaming mischievously before a hand reached forward to devour him, the youth skittering out of reach like an ugly, blonde bug.

And for an instant he could see Sora behind this marionette, teeth torn into a hideous snarl as his fingertips groped to catch his Other in his grasp.

"Of _**course **_he likes you. He just doesn't _**realize **_it yet."

He staggered toward the bridge, watching the wooden blocks fall from sight before he turned sharply in time to avoid the outstretched embrace of his nightmare. And while the heartless pounded against the ground, temporarily dazed by its miss, Roxas' foot stumbled to catch hold away from the beast.. And met the sweet foundation of _nothing_.

Pinwheeling, he tumbled backwards, a quiet cry of surprise escaping him as Kairi appeared upon the island's edge to peer at his fall. He reached for her, wanting to call her name and yet recognizing this private blasphemy, able to see Namine in the reflection of her eyes as she reached for him as well. But now beyond her grasp, and beyond her hope, he plummeted, swallowed by the darkness of his heart and the Organization he had allowed to consume him.

"_I know... So tell me something I don't_."

The warmth that had once been inspired by Riku could not reach him, Roxas' eyes tempted to close against the bleak oblivion as his heart sang for the comfort of his companion.

"_Well? I'm waiting_."

He cared for him. Deeply. It was an attachment that had no depth, was without end, clearly infinite and the youth without the capacity to convey as much. His longing, his yearning, his very, raw desire for Riku could not be expressed.. And there were not enough words in the English language that would allow him to remotely _explain _his need for the other.

"_This... Is all I need_."

Oh what sweet relief had come from such a simple statement, the blonde lifting his arms to surround himself in the same manner as Riku had. Yet weak of his energy, his determination drained, his arms would only fall to rest at his side once more, gaze opening to regard the advancing darkness below.

His person cartwheeled for his feet to meet the solid foundation of the darkness, he briefly crouched before he was able to stand erect. And though his attention became starved for light, he stepped forward with the expectancy of an explosion and...

Was met with nothing.

Clearly perplexed, he took another shuffle forward, firmly planting his foot upon the platform yet the surrounding flutter of doves never came. Unable to mask his confusion - and terror to the bleak shadows - he turned a complete circle in search of his escape, longing to find something familiar in this darkness aside from his mounting panic that would lead him astray.

Something blue glimmered in the darkness, and in his blunder, Roxas nearly confused it for a blueberry. But as he managed to distract himself with this lone object, he bent to retrieve an item all too familiar to him, feeling the rush of memories that did not belong to him either - they as vacant as Sora's - as Hayner, Pence, Olette and himself sat upon the clock tower, admiring their prize in the sunlight.

"_Roxas_."

He could see them as clear as day, running along the hidden paths of Twilight Town, the metropolis to their mercy and they its royalty. They had ruled the streets, a single faction against the Disciplinary Committee, Seifer with a stick jammed too far up his ass for him to see straight.

For any of them to see straight.

"_Roxas_."

He remembered the mystery of his home, the seven wonders as Pence had affectionately titled them, and their exploration to discover the wonderment behind these unexplained events. And yet each was met with disbelief or failure, Roxas alone in his expedition and the others too late to witness the magic.

Roxas now wondered if perhaps it had been a malfunction in DiZ's system.

"_Roxas_."

Axel had come to him, wanting to retrieve him and take him back, take him home where the others waited.. And his possible demise. And yer Roxas had been blind to this recollection, refusing to submit himself to the nightmares he had longed to escape, the truth evading him just as easily as the lies of his life had. He had been happy. He had been complete.

"_Roxas_."

".. I don't belong here." Gazing into the clear sphere of crystal, his fingers clenched around the delicate item and he saw the faces of his friends peering back at him. No, not _his _friends.. But friends to a boy who had never existed.

To a boy who hadn't mean to exist. Hadn't Namine told him that once? As a Nobody...

"I don't belong here!" Hurling the blue prize from him, it shattered against the platform, an explosion within the silence as screams erupted from the clockwork. Throwing his hands against his ears, Roxas cried against the noise, bent as the world fell apart to reveal the pristine glow of the Organization Headquarters, he seized in his fear as he back-pedalled away from the sight. And yet it surrounded him, the white a sore to his eyes as he winced against the abrupt light, he shuddering to find his leave before they caught him once again.

"I don't belong here!" he demanded in his hysterics, choking on a dry sob as he made a backwards departure. "I don't belong here! I DON'T BELONG HERE--" And suddenly his foot met the emptiness of air once more, and he knew he wouldn't be graced with the kindness of a painless fall, he turning to meet the expected staircase in surprise.

"I don't--!" Startled from his sleep, Roxas threw the blankets from him as his shout gradually calmed, the other residents of the room otherwise undisturbed by his wake. For many breathless moments he remain sat up upon his pallet, gripping the blankets he had attempted to tear off of himself in a frenzy while his mind raced to accept the dream.. Or a gorious nightmare.

Sora shifted restlessly in his sleep, an arm thrown above him as he issued a quiet snore before resuming what pleasantries it may have been that occupied his mind. And nearest to him rested Riku, arm collected beneath his pillow while the other had been stretched toward Roxas.. For whatever manner it may have been.

Gradually was the former Nobody able to persuade himself to lay down once again, heart calming as his breathing settled, and for some time, he simply watched Riku. Oblivious to his audience, the taller male slept silently, the occasional twitch of his lips suggesting a pleasant dream as well before he'd bundle the pillow nearer to him.

With a tentative nature, Roxas placed his hand atop his assumed companion, comforted by the warmth before Riku's fingers enclosed around his. For an instant he did nothing, surprised by this subconscious action before he'd allow his own to intertwined with the subject of his admiration, a pale smile gracing his lips before he persuaded himself to sleep once more.

And while he mused over the idea of a sleep-over, and how silly he may have thought it to be earlier that morning, Roxas was oblivious to the sight as Sora mopped at his sweat-beaded forehead, brows furrowing with his discomfort before he'd shift beneath his blankets damp with his perspiration; a nightmare plagued him, one of he being followed by a heartless, it groping to catch him within it's grasp and to swallow him into the darkness once more.

And perhaps this time, there'd be no escape.


	7. Playful Reality

**Author's Note(s)**: This is the seventh part of a **TEN** part prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that.

And lots of Roxas-emo. :) Please review

**This particular story's prompt**: Pirates

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"Why are we doing this again?" 

Canting his head at the inquiry, Roxas supplied his company a thoughtful glance, Riku's focus deliberated averted as he gazed across the sand. Presently bent to tie the laces of his boots, the blonde said nothing at length, simply resuming the dismal task as he struggled to secure his shoes upon his feet.

".. Because Sora wanted to," he stated after some instances, standing to brush the sand from the seat of his pants. Feeling the other's eyes upon him, he turned to face the other male, mildly amused to witness him fiddling with his eye patch. And yet appearing to notice his audience, he gave the blonde a sour look, clearly disgruntle for his adjusted attire; this was i _not_ /i his idea of a picnic.

Or much of anything for that matter.

"Since when do we do what Sora wants?" he replied in a heated mumble, folding his arms across the wide expanse of his chest as he subjected a point to not regard his friend. And though ignoring this cold shoulder, Roxas brushed past him, a bit familiar with such absent mannerisms after frequenting Riku's company... And clinging to his hand in a bewildering darkness.

Reminded of his bleak nightmare, the blonde retrieved a wooden sword as it leaned against the crutch of a tree, enlightened by the sight as Riku quickly mimicked this occupancy. Attempting to appear nonchalant, the taller male simply cradled the sword against his palm, attention remaining elsewhere though with a fostered habit of watching Roxas from the corner of his eye.

It seemed to be an assumed challenge, either wielding their weapon, though neither prepared to start forward. Countless times in the past had they initiated a competition of sorts, an innocent query to evaluate the other's limits. And while it often resulted in a roll across the sand, efforts abandoned in the face of a straight-forward approach, they had deserted such contests, reveling in each other's company to lie against the bank.

It was wonderment at all why they felt such tempting desires for a competition.

"He thought it'd be fun to have a treasure hunt for Easter," Roxas explained, aware that it wasn't often they did accommodate to Sora's desires. If the mood became them, they could often veto his preparations in favor of something outside of a primitive arena. However a fan of silly happenings, a realization still lost to Roxas yet, the idea of a treasure hunt had been satisfying.. If not alluring.

Plus it had been an imitating opportunity to see Riku dressed as a pirate.

"I didn't know pirates celebrated Easter," the other chided, allowing his arms to drop at his side with the sword point directed toward the earth. Almost compelled to attack by this relaxed composure alone, the blonde simply shrugged, aware that Sora's thought process contained a few holes. Having resided within his head for an extended period of time, it was only expected for this acknowledgement.. Sora wasn't a critical thinker. Plain and simple.

Turning to regard the lay of the beach, Roxas shifted a step back into the shade of the palm trees. Together, they waited at the alcove of trees, occasionally suggesting a race to the top to where the Star Tree resided; however easily distracted by what may have been an approach of footsteps, though in reality the quiet patter of the wild-life, such small contests were never initiated. Why dispense such useless energy anyway, when it could clearly be used for otherwise...

Aware that boredom would soon dominate as the pair lingered, Roxas adopted the habit of watching Riku as he aimlessly tapped his sword against a tree. And while distracted, he didn't notice the slight swing of Roxas', he bringing the flat end of his toy to mildly rap against his company's leg. Alerted by this violation, Riku paused in his ministrations, deliberated a choice of action before making a clear swipe at the shorter boy. He wasn't prepared to admit to this bullying.

Ducking aside as the sword would only hit a tree, Roxas volleyed the advance, charging at Riku from a short distance though meant to be block. And yet as intended, wood clashing against wood, they leaned into the other's weight as the smaller male fought for purchase upon the sand.

It was a familiar bout, Roxas prone to his use of agility as he would swing around Riku, reminded of the other's swift reflexes as each barrage was met with another. And while a blow never landed against cushioned skin, they traded strikes, caught in the assault beneath the beat of the sun.

It was, however, a disadvantage to fight upon a shifting surface; moving forward rapidly, having been thrown back into the trees, Roxas abruptly lost his footing and stumbled forward in a pinwheel of limbs. Far more dangerous than the organized combat, he attempted to right himself before he'd plummet, stilled as he felt an arm abruptly surround him to steady such erratic movement.

Paused, he was drawn against the solid figure of Riku's person, a hold caught around his waist as he blinked with rapid confusion.

".. Are you okay?" Riku asked, their play lost to him in the face of the blonde's possibly injury. Blinking, the former XIII member canted his focus, gaze roaming to meet that of Riku's, mildly embarrassed for his folly.. And his subjected lack of grace.

".. I'm fine," Roxas murmured, aware he had dropped his sword in his stumble and bemused to the quiet _clunk_ of the soil as Riku abandoned hold upon his as well. With another arm laced around his waist, the blonde became aware of a tempting invitation, chin inclined as he nearly brought himself upon his toes. And while his hands crawled along the length of Riku's chest, moving slowly to fashion themselves around his throat, his lips sought to brush against his, increasingly aware that most tests of strength had resulted to similar ends.

"Save it for a room!" Abruptly chilled at the call, Roxas' hands having managed to press into the other's shoulders, they turned to witness Sora's approach.. As well as what may have been half the island. Immediately parting in a flush, the boys distracted themselves with the retrieval of their items, blissfully aware of how the sight may have appeared; worked into a sweat from their struggle, features heated as an effect, it would be easy to assume such sequences... Not that either could expect Sora's mind to conduct such suspicions.

"Nice costumes," the brunet approved as he paused nearby, supplying the pair with a genuine smile and his hands navigating to his hips. Thoughtfully, Roxas thought to touch the bandana around his head, aware of the struggle that had issued upon his decision to wear such an accessory. And while his attire resembled that of Riku's, and everyone else's from his observation, he had felt fairly successful in his attempt to dress as a pirate.

Sora, unable to combat the logic-defying structure of his hair into a hat of any fashion, and he lost to perspective with both his eyes available - hence likely why Riku had adopted the eye patch - had instead fostered a need for accessories. A number of scars littered his features, and he had attempted to draw a mustache upon himself.. But had only succeeded with the idea a fat, furry caterpillar had climbed upon the regions of his face, and managed to kick the bucket in the process.. Albeit in a crooked nature. It was a challenge not to laugh.

Not that the state of other's approaching appeared any better; torn between appearing as though they had rolled in the mud, or clambered through the jungle, it took an instant to realize some of those who had come weren't familiar with the island's terrain.. So perhaps they had to some extent. Biting aside his amusement, Roxas humored Sora with his attention as the brunet had introduced what he considered to be an elaborative plan.

An elaborative plan that included receiving a map, finding said items from the map, and to do it all before the other teams. Clearly, the complication of Sora's agenda was questionable.

Divided into teams, Roxas and Riku had elected an ill glance toward Sora as the brunet nearly supplied the indication to rob one of the other's company. Yet receiving such alarming vibes, he appeared to reconsider, focus instead parted upon how large to allow the parties. In the end, it didn't seem too much matter.

"Once you've found everything, meet back here.. And.. The first person back wins!" Delighted by his own genius, Sora was quick to make a retreat with Kairi, the latter giving the remaining company a soft smile before she decided to follow. Gradually, the band dispersed, allowing Riku and Roxas a few instances to regard their map, almost sick to their amusement by Sora's evident lack of ability to draw.

In short, he may have as well drawn numerous scribbles upon the parchment and called it set. It was to that extent it was helpful.

Unable to entirely decipher point A from point B, they decided it best to merely explore.. And hopefully come across the determined items to be found. If anything, they figured they could mooch off the "intense" intellect of Tidus and Wakka, two of very few people who appeared to understand the thought process of their mutual friend.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem point A was to be found, nor was B, C or D for that matter, at least not within their present reality. And while such locations such as G to retrieve artifacts including a piece of Atlantis were puzzling - and likely one of many to avoid for fear of drowning - there did come a small triumph in their discovery of a buried bottle.. Only to realize it wasn't on their list of items to retrieve.

It _was_, however, a good Tidus and Wakka intended to collect; discovering that another pair had located the item long before they had - they apparently successful in translating Sora scribbles - a challenge had quickly been issued as each brandished their sword. And while such a contest was short lived, Wakka unable to handle a sword with his general practice of blitzball, and Tidus distracted by the defeat of his partner, they were all oblivious to any plights that may have once resided, lost in their exchange as laughter choked their surroundings.

Roxas and Riku were quick to discover that the other duo contained a few items of their own in their possession, and they greedy to retrieve the stolen products. And like any talented pirate, expected of similar nature, they plundered all that Wakka and Tidus had collected, delighted with their pillaging as they retreated from the fallen pair's location.

Coinciding steps were quickly adopted as they abandoned all hope to read Sora's chicken-scratch, far too amused by the reactions of others in their deliberated ambush. And while not entirely undefeated - they had managed to be cornered by an angry hoard of girls, the "Sexy Pirates" as they called themselves, and forced to forfeit a prize for fear of their fury - they couldn't deny their entertainment, pleased with their efforts.

"I'll admit this wasn't entirely a waste of a day," Riku remarked as they sat upon a wooden platform, watching the chaos below as other teams fret to find missing items - likely part of a pile the other two had gathered. Perplexed by this statement, Roxas turned to regard the other male, a slight frown sullying his lips to believe that the day could have been a waste otherwise.

".. I got to spend the day with you. I don't think it's a waste," he replied with a defensive nature, Riku reflecting that of Roxas' former expression as he also turned to observe the other male. For an instant, he said nothing, simply watching the blonde before he elected the thought to stand, moving himself nearer with the intention to only be seated once more. Now at Roxas' direct side, guarded by the shade of a natural wall behind them, Riku's focus averted elsewhere, ignorant to the sudden pain his blonde companion may have felt.

".. We could have spent the day together anyway," he explained quietly as his attention roamed to meet Roxas', and he caught his hand swiftly within his own. Lacing their fingers as the blonde blinked, he kissed his knuckles tenderly, attempting to patch the wound he had unintentionally created. "We didn't have to play a game to do it."

Aware that it was certainly true, the youth bowed his head in his consideration, squeezing Riku's hand tenderly before he shuffled nearer. Tentatively, a hand lifted to catch the front of Riku's shirt, tugging at him longingly to deliver a kiss upon his lips. Compliant to the affection, the taller male's hand navigated to collect the youth around the waist, pulling him into his lap as they searchingly kissed the other. With a quiet noise prompt against Riku's lips, the former XIII member parted, gaze downcast as he gave a slow sigh, nearly flinching as his company placed a kiss against his forehead.

"Maybe we should--"

"_SOMEBODY HELP!_"

Immediately alarmed by the cry, the pair jumped, swiveling toward the source as it came once again from below. Almost frantic in a collection for assistance, the abrupt rush of feet from below welcomed Riku and Roxas from above, they quick to make their own departure to see what had invited such a fuss.

Darting across the sand as they returned to the place they had originally stationed themselves, they slowed near the gathered crowd, able to hear Selphie sobbing as Kairi attempted to comfort her; she evidently panicked as well, Riku took the initiative to shove through the party, Roxas fast to follow in his confusion as to what may have happened. Had someone fallen? Perhaps from the tower above, and they had...

Sora lay upon the sand, clearly unconscious though without a source of why; Selphie had collapsed onto her knees nearby, face lost into her hands as Kairi gingerly patted her back to assure it'd be okay. He had only fainted, surely he'd be okay...

Catching sight of Riku, however, Kairi abandoned her hope to comfort Selphie, she moving to join the other male as he crouched by Sora's side. Speaking calmly, she explained what had happened, he distracted as he concerned himself with Sora's well-being at present, hardly aware that Roxas had failed to join him.

But a streak of blonde had caught the other's focus, he watching the unmistakable approach of a figure he had thought to have relinquished him. Quietly, unnoticed by the company, Namine knelt at Sora's side, her dress impossibly pristine to the dark wash of colors that surrounded her. With hesitation, she reached a hand to Sora, it ghosting across his cheek in her concern, features pinched with worry before her alarming blue eyes would rise to meet his.

"Roxas..." she murmured, aware that he could see her, she planting her hands tenderly upon the brunet's chest. ".. You.. Really are a pirate."

And yet as quickly as she had come, she was gone, Riku collecting his friend into his arms in his rush to give him medical aid. Entirely oblivious to the absent presence they had just invited, he pressed past Roxas without a word, Kairi eager to follow. And slowly, the crowd would make haste, Roxas remaining to stare at the remnants of where the girl once resided, heart heavy in his chest within his confusion.

As it ached, he clutched the front of his shirt and wondered what she could have meant, her secrecy lost to him and the absence of Sora. It was then that he realized how lonely he felt...

Discouraged by the fact his play had become reality.


	8. A Thirst for Knowledge

**Author's Note(s):** This is the eighth part of a TEN part prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that.

And lots of Roxas-emo. :) Please review

**This particular story's prompt: **Wisdom

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"You guys, really, I'm telling you I'm fine."

With a near exasperated look, Sora struggled into a seated position upon his bed, hardly surprised to find a hand pressing firmly upon his shoulder before he bounced against the mattress once more. Defeated, he supplied a sigh as his focus roamed the ceiling, ignoring the retreat of Riku who would surely accept authority once more had he decided to take bed leave. Figures Riku would becoming the doting, mother hen at a time like this...

Situated nearby, Roxas watched this display in thought, brows knitted with pale concentration as he witnessed Riku nearly pace a track into the floor. His pallet had been removed when he had known Riku was to take root in the other's bedroom, he far from wanting his bed trampled upon no matter the source. And yet Riku had seemed oblivious to these adjustments, lost within the privacy of his concern that felt almost blown out of proportion.

... Had Riku not nearly lost Sora once before.

Reminded of their past together, as well as their struggles and the obstacles in their friendship, Roxas beat aside his jealousy with the reminder it was _he_ who was stealing kisses from Riku, _he_ who Riku wanted to hold, _he_ who... Couldn't possibly compete with their relationship.

Mimicking an action displayed prior, Roxas simply bowed his head in forfeit, presently without the mental capacity for this internal contest. Sora knew about him and Riku, encouraged it in fact, genuinely enthused that they had managed to find happiness together - though had reflected verbally that if Roxas were attracted to boys, did that make him as well? So.. Why did the blond feel it necessary for this constant test of strength?

"It was just a heat spell, it's nothing to worry-"

"Are you _sure_ you weren't hit in the head or something?" Riku interrupted, returning to his best friend's bed side to brush aside his bangs with the intent to inspect the youth himself. But batting aside the taller male's arm, Sora reclaimed an erect posture once more, shuffling across the bed to settle against the wall in the event Riku decided he needed lie down again.

"I wasn't hit in the head," Sora reassured, rubbing the place Riku's fingertips had once resided. "At least, I don't think so-- Hey!" As Riku and Roxas exchanged a look, clearly unconvinced, the brunet couldn't help but pout in their utter disbelief that he was _not_ going to be okay. What was this? Some sick excuse to off him with the first opportunity of injury?

"Maybe he doesn't remember it," Roxas suggested as he folded his arms, attention straying back toward Sora who had shot him a dirty look, and he only shrugged in response; being the youth's other didn't automatically provide him the benefit of the doubt. This _was_ Sora they were presently discussing.

"Too convenient, even for Sora," Riku replied as his footfalls paused, observing his friend from afar as he appeared to deliberate other possibilities; amnesia was clearly out of the question, and it'd be too farfetched to assume him abducted by aliens..

"If you both are so worried about me, why don't you just leave me alone?" Equally surprised by this statement, either attempting to avoid the inclination to gape at such a direct remark, Sora would only frown at this curious display as he folded the blanket across his lap. "I mean.. It's a beautiful day. No use all _three_ of us being stuck inside..."

Merely shaking their heads to see that the brunet did appear to be in working order, Roxas would only watch Riku as the youth proceeded to his friend's side, dropping a hand atop his head in a granted manner.

".. If we leave, will you at least get some sleep?" he inquired, dodging the boy's playful banter, and otherwise oblivious that the swing had bopped against his leg.

"_Yes_, but only if you leave-"

"Done. Let's go, Roxas." Bemused to when he had become a traveling companion, the blond would give his other a fleeting glance, pausing in the doorway as the light caught his features. Perplexed for an instant, he stared hard at the other boy as Sora would only observe him within his confusion, the former XIII member eventually shrugging the thought aside as he moved to follow after Riku.

Perhaps it had only been a play of the light...

Together they proceeded toward the second island, it blissfully empty from the day's previous events; evidently, Selphie had taken it upon herself to share the grief of Sora's accident, the story appearing to change with each telling. Originally, he had tripped into a palm tree, but present word by mouth depicted he had been traversed to another world, and the trip through time and space had rendered him unconscious. The blond could only deliberate what was to come next.. No matter how accurate the latter may have been had it not occurred in a span of a few instances.

Settling upon the jetty in a manner entirely familiar, knee drawn beneath his elbow as a perch, Riku didn't humor Roxas with a glance as his focus swam toward the horizon. However accepting the private invitation, the blond seated himself beside his company, long since aware that it wasn't necessary to ask.

For a short period they sat in silence, comfortable to the other's hush as they only admired their surroundings. And occasionally, their attention would wander, eventually coming to rest upon their partner and in time, admire them as well.

".. We should play a game," Roxas offered a length, shattering the calm the patient roll of the ocean had established. Brow hiked at the suggestion, Riku dropped his leg to rest over the side of the jetty, gaze remaining lost to the scenery.

"It isn't another treasure hunt, is it? I've had enough of those-"

"No, it's not," the blond quickly interrupted, aware that Riku had been prepared to bully him in some manner or another; he didn't want to think about yesterday, about what Namine had said. "It's simple.. I ask you a question, and you ask me a question. It can.. Help us learn about each other."

".. Sounds easy enough," Riku admitted, though not entirely sure if he wanted to encouraged such an eliminating process; there were certainly _better_ ways to learn about each other, he'd rationalize, and most less primitive.

"But.. You can't repeat the same question after me, or I after you.. Okay?" Satisfied as his company nodded, the blond settled back to acknowledge his curiosity, searching the cavities of his mind for a question he had longed to be answered. ".. What's it like to be in school?"

Nearly bewildered, it took an instant for the larger male to realize that Roxas was seeking an experience through him, the other without the "privilege" of attending school in his present state.. It was difficult to remember, at times, that the blond wasn't one of them.. In the end, he would always be a foreigner, despite what fabricated world he may have been birthed from.

"It's... Boring..?" Shrugging as he discovered his disability to communicate, Riku reflected internally, striving to gain a better understanding over a life he so often disregarded.. Took for granted.. A life that Roxas wouldn't be able to live in. ".. You just learn things.. Nothing different from here, really. You learn things, don't you?"

"Right," Roxas replied with a slow nod, clearly venturing to process this small collection of information, despite how vague it may have been. "So what was it like following me?"

"Isn't it my question?" Riku asked.

"No. You asked me a question, if I learn things. Now what was it like?"

Feeling almost cheated out of his turn, Riku would sigh with mock disappointment, eyes dropped to regard their joined reflections as he found the blond shifting nearer.

".. I would have done better if I had been in school," the silver-hair youth admitted at length, certainly far from longing for those days of yore where he had tagged after his present subject of admiration. Willingly submitting himself as DiZ's lackey hadn't been an exact walk in the park. If anything, he had almost thought to contract himself to the Organization instead.. Had Sora's life not been endangered. "..Though at least I got to see how cute you were on a regular basis."

An audience as Roxas flushed, the heat of his face exceeding where his hair met his forehead and coloring his ears as well, Riku fought to mask a smile at the sight, almost tempted to derive that he was only cuter when he blushed; however, until now, Riku hadn't thought the word "cute" to be in his vocabulary.

"What was it like being in Sora's head?"

Clearly attempting to recover from his embarrassment, unaccustomed to such compliments, Roxas cleared his throat as he shrugged, subconsciously scratching at his cheek; Riku thought he was _cute_? Not to say _he_ didn't find the other male to be seventeen different variations of sexy, but still... "It was... Eventful... I mean, he was pretty empty-headed a lot of the time but.. You'd be surprised what would go through his mind while in battle.. He can definitely strategize if he doesn't just rush into it." Not that Roxas could rightly recall an instant where Sora hadn't barreled forward.

Nodding at this piece of information, though Riku forever without the opportunity of discovering as much for himself, he simply waited, debating if it would be better to avoid the topic of the Organization entirely.

"What's your greatest fear?"

Startled by the query, Riku frowned, aware that Roxas watched him with an alarming intensity.. Though for what, he couldn't possibly say; his greatest fear? Arms folded across his chest, he deliberated, realizing that there were plenty of things he had come to be afraid of.. As much as that may have been wounding to his pride.

He was afraid of losing those he cared for, having experienced as much already once in the past... He was afraid of the darkness consuming him again, and he to be weak to its control... There were numerous things that gave him a fright, nothing entirely singular or above all others, most of similar caliber as he had arranged to avoid further mutilation to his ego.

".. Heights." Surprised for such a simple phobia, Roxas could only blink, shifting upon a knee as he drew it beneath him to adjust his person. It seemed almost trivial for Riku to be afraid of such a small thing, though he could rationalize that perhaps to Riku, it wasn't small...

"What? If you're afraid of heights, why did you stand on those skyscrapers-"

"You had your question, it's my turn." Interrupted into a deliberate hush, Roxas could only wait, eager to know now how Riku had managed to scale countless buildings to wait for his arrival when he was so afraid of heights. "Did you like.. Being part of the Organization?"

"No." The answer had come immediately, his remark however without expression as his tone had hit deadpan within the instant; nearly frowning at himself, Roxas mused to convey himself properly, eventually accepting defeat as the words would appear lost to him. "..It was boring. They accepted me and.. That's all I wanted at the time. After that, though.. I grew tired of it. End of story."

Subject deader than a doormat, and hence complete - or so Riku figured - he allowed the issue to rest, far from wanting to bristle the other's feathers when he had entered such a defensive state so easily.

"Why did you stand on those skyscrapers if you're afraid of heights?"

"..It was easier to watch for you," Riku admitted with another shrug, focus intentionally dropped to watch his feet in Roxas' place. "Not to say I was comfortable.. And every time I jumped off that building, I thought my heart was going to explode..."

Avoiding the temptation to grin at the thought, far from humored by the idea of Riku being wounded however, he would only nod, able to take that within its entirety. It wasn't as though he was able to mimic such a feat, certainly with a desire to avoid plummeting to a potential death below. Though he had to admit he was impressed, previously able to admire Riku at ease.. But to know he could stand on buildings, despite his fear?

"What's _your_ greatest fear?"

The question struck a chill through Roxas and the blond stilled at the thought, immediately able to determine what it was he feared most. ".. To.. Be left alone... To.. Go back.." Brows knitted in his abrupt concern, he realized he was indeed afraid that one day he would have to return to Sora, he would have to abandon all this.. Leave everyone behind again.. ".. I mean, I guess..."

But what did he mean? Aware that Riku had suffered a similar fate, having been subjected as a host to a foreign entity, Roxas briefly wondered how Riku must have felt knowing he was being used.. Unable to exist entirely as himself, only there for another's benefit, another's sacrifice...

".. I don't want to lose you.. Or anyone else.. But if I have to go back into Sora--"

"I love you."

For a pulse, the blond felt he had heard incorrectly, lost in his babble when the other had decided to speak. And as his brows pinched, he watching Riku hard as the youth flushed darkly, he could only cant his head in his private wonderment. "..What.. Did you say?"

Heaving a long sigh, the breath apparently held, Riku was swallowed into a personal silence as he considered repeating himself. And while he couldn't avoid the temptation to simply kiss the other in his confused pout, he knew _avoiding_ the subject wouldn't make it any easier... But to say it once more when it had taken so much to say it the first time...

"..I.. Love you." Pointedly, he had turned his attention to rest upon the blond, abruptly surprised to find Roxas' features a deep hue of crimson. And as the shorter male made a clear attempt for the proper function of his mouth, he only managed to gape like a fish, lips working inaudibly before his features would twist with concentration.

.. This reaction did _not_ seem to be a good sign.

Riku began to feel a rise of panic deep within him, pleasantly aware of the dangers he had ignored, specifically that of Roxas not feeling the same. And now he had taken that leap, barreling ahead without the foresight of what was to come.. Only to discover him a few feet short of the opposite ledge and falling, pin wheeling futilely through the air as he plummet toward the earth below.

"..I.. I love you, too.." Almost alarmed as Riku had stood to move away, Roxas caught his hand quickly, resisting the temptation to yank him from his feet entirely; it was a curious realization, acknowledging this budding of warmth deep within him he wouldn't otherwise recognize, simply able to associate it with Riku. Who was he to know what love was? And yet certain that it could be nothing but, he thought perhaps it had been a slip of the tongue from the other, he intending the statement for someone else, not a lowly Nobody such as himself.

However paused in his intended leave, Riku's focus dropped to regard the blushing boy, hand presently caught in the other's. Squeezing his palm gently, he would only intertwine their fingers, shifting to be seated once more as he collected Roxas against his lip.

A tender kiss was shortly shared, Roxas' arms managing to find themselves around Riku's throat as he may have attempted to bury himself into their lip lock. And it definitely was not the first, nor intended to be the last, each finding reason to kiss their announced love, occasionally straying to separate patches of visible skin, though always returning to their lips.

Together, they shared the day, finding them entitled to enjoy this private time that Sora had otherwise commanded, though couldn't help but feel a strike of guilt as one would watch the other greedily eat a stick of ice cream. And yet the thought would be quickly banished, aware that perhaps nothing but their companion mattered for a time, and they would have days to worry over Sora's condition.

Though he had appeared to recover at the time of their departure.

Roxas was nearly dismayed to see Riku take his leave as he was deposited upon Sora's doorstep, clinging to the other male with a fierce veracity as he kissed him hard. And while he had managed to tame an otherwise wild longing to be with his other's best friend, he knew he couldn't continue to neglect the brunet, not if he was presently ill. He'd have tomorrow to spend with Riku, as well as the next, if not the next, and many more following..

With a hand raised to his love's retreat, Roxas nudged aside the front door, making the slow journey to the youths bedroom - far from alarmed to find it submitted into darkness. And while he stepped inside, pulling the door behind him, he felt his brows rise in inquiry, focus drifting toward his friend.

Namine sat quietly at his side, the bed creased beneath her imaginative weight, tenderly caressing the side of Sora's face as he slept. And as before, her pristine appearance pierced the darkness with its glow, she caught in the early moonlight as dusk had only fallen an hour before.

"... Hello, Roxas," she stated quietly, hand dropping to rest against Sora's chest before she turned to regard his other. A small smile fleeted across her lips, and Roxas found him unable to return it, confused to her reasoning to be here. She had spent weeks avoiding him and now she had appeared before him twice in a matter of days.

"... Something wrong?" he ventured, curious if she had come to console in him, though he couldn't imagine why she would feel that necessary. As Kairi's other, he was certain the girl wouldn't pay mind to Namine's complaints, her worries, her concerns...

"Yes," she answered simply with a sigh, turning back to regard the unconscious brunet, and would resume stroking his cheek. ".. But tell me, did you enjoy your day outside?"

A frown sullied his otherwise passive features to the thought perhaps she was displeased with his and Riku's leave, she certainly without the authority to command his daily activities, however. ".. Sora told us to leave him alone-"

"You didn't answer my question, Roxas." Lost to the sudden command in the girl's tone, he would only regard her at length before braving a step forward, convinced she wouldn't lunge at him unexpectedly. Not that she had in the past, nor could she in an apparition state, but.. It would have been a sight nonetheless.

"..Yes.. I did..."

".. Did you enjoy kissing Riku while Sora-"

"He told us to leave, Namine, what I do with Riku-"

"-Is lying here in bed, obviously sick and needing your help-"

"-Isn't your business, and it doesn't affect how Sora feels-"

"You're wrong, it does affect how Sora feels, it affects _everything_ about Sora-"

"How could you possibly know that? Are _you_ in Sora's head?"

"You're killing him, Roxas." The girl gave him a long, sad look in her remorse, eyebrows pinched to the shared realization. ".. You're killing him.."

Roxas' knees felt bound to give out beneath him as he could only stare, finding himself weak in the legs and gradually becoming weaker. Shaking his head slowly, he wet his lips as he turned to look at Sora, able to see the beads of sweat across his forehead within the moonlight, his expression taut in his private distress.

"...How..?" Namine had imagined Roxas would be confused, and like him, she had been once as well. With a pale shake of her head, she shifted herself away from Roxas to stare at the brunet once more, the titled Keyblade Master, their savior...

".. You're taking his heart.. By being here, by being with Riku.. You're slowly taking his heart, Roxas... You can't exist here without one, and Sora opened his up to you.. And you've stolen it..." The youth's eyelids fluttered at the mentioning of his name, a crease of golden rod yellow peaking through the slit before he struggled beneath his comforter. And then Roxas could see it, the changes in the boy's appearance, his pallid complexion, the darkening hue of his fingertips as the darkness was slowly consuming him...

Advancing forward, he stopped at the other's bedside, a hand straying to touch his chest as he felt the healthy rhythm of his heart beneath his palm.. Nay, _Sora's_ heart.

It had never occurred to him how he had managed to come to be in Sora's reality, simply accepting it at length as rattling his brain for an answer that would not come appeared in vain. And yet to know the truth, the sincere reason why he had come to be... At the sake of his love's friend, his _best_ friend.. He knew he couldn't selfishly accept the other's heart. Riku had spent an entire lifetime with Sora, shared so many adventures, so many conflicts.. And here he had only been present for a few weeks... He truly couldn't compare.

".. I'm sorry," Namine stated as she looked upon her friend in distress, wishing to wrap her arms around him as she could see him breaking. Tenderly, he reached a hand toward the boy upon the bed, reassuring himself it'd be okay, he had always meant to be a sacrifice, and if it was to save Sora, surely, he'd be okay..

".. He told me he loved me," Roxas admitted quietly as he felt a tear slip across his cheek. And as his chest began to hurt he wondered if perhaps this was what heartache was like.

The bedroom would fall to an alarming hush, save for the quiet rolls of the ocean as Sora would shift within his sleep, straining to catch a fading sound that seemed to resonate entirely through him.

It reminded him of someone crying, heart-wrenched in their choked sobs as they fought for their control. And while Sora groped to listen, aware it was only distancing with the passing time, he thought perhaps it was a dream.

Or a simple figment of his imagination.


	9. Without You

**Author's Note(s): **This is the ninth part of a **TEN** part prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that.

And lots of Roxas-emo. :) Please review

**This particular story's prompt: **Stubble

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

* * *

"Look, Riku! I think I'm getting a hair!" 

The intended audience supplied the brunet a glance, humoring him as he peered at his chin though failing to catch sight of the peach fuzz the other so enthusiastically admired. Turning away with his focus no longer required, Riku would only sigh as he stared into the distance, dropping his head back to rest against the wall as Sora busied himself with his glee.

And yet as Sora had nearly prompt himself to continue, he paused at the sight of his disheartened best friend, aching to soothe his pain he knew he couldn't possibly understand.

It had been a week since Roxas had disappeared, they none the wiser to his leave. If anything, Sora would have expected a note of some sort to be left behind, in the very least indicating any potential misery.. And yet they had turned his room upside down, or respectfully, cleaned what chaos there may have existed with the sincere hopes of finding _something_, _anything_ that could give them some insight..

And yet these efforts had been in vain, their search futile.

It had been within the same period that Sora made a remarkable recovery.

".. Is he saying anything?" Riku asked, shifting his focus to the brunet, his eyes cold from his sorrow. And while Sora longed desperately to find Roxas deep within himself, experience had shown the blond to remain oblivious to his calls.. Nonetheless, he would reflect, stretching for the false hope that perhaps this time the youth really would call back to him, to give them a sign he at least existed.. Somewhere.

Eyes hooded in his concentration, Sora searched deep within himself, a hand ghosting against his chest before he gripped the front of his shirt. And while he inspected the deepest cavities of his mind, he heard nothing save the voice of himself thinking.

".. Not yet," Sora replied somberly before managing a slight smile. ".. But don't worry, I'm sure he will-"

Riku sighed in personal defeat as he'd only turn away, masking his torn expression as he felt his heart drop into his stomach; perhaps Roxas had been afraid of their intended commitment.. And had ran away, losing himself deep within Sora's consciousness. And yet the taller male couldn't accept his love was a coward, unable to detect where he may have folly, and why... Why Roxas had left...

Observing his company in his distress, Sora could only fidget, unable to convey the comfort that he longed to provide. And yet he without the answers his best friend sought, he didn't find his assistance would be of much help. Above all else, he'd simply have to remain observant, waiting for the tall-tale sign that his Other had locked himself deep within him.

Resuming the activity of admiring his bare chin, attempting to convince himself that there was indeed something there, he peered curiously into a mirror that reflected features all too haunting. It was almost as though he expected Roxas to regard him with similar nature, features bland of a smile Sora too often portrayed, but his Other easily composed of a warming friendliness. Not that he could necessarily recall an instant of playful banter exchanged between them..

"Hey Riku.. Do you think if I shave, it'll grow in darker?" the brunet queried, rubbing his chin as he tucked his bottom lip, patting the naked flesh. He remembered Wakka saying something similar, though the red-head certainly without his proclaimed goatee he so often bragged about. In fact, Sora couldn't rightly recall a time the other _ever_ had facial hair, nonetheless the experience to boast..

"Give it a rest, Sora." Perplexed by his friend's tone, Sora turned in time to see Riku standing, the youth bee-lining for a straight retreat as his hands disappeared into the depths of his pockets. "One hair doesn't mean anything. Not like you have it anyway..."

Aware of his biting remark, Riku didn't spare Sora a glance, far too wounded by his pride as he simply left the former Keyblade Master to brood. What was it his place to watch the other flaunt happily over his nonexistent facial hair? He didn't care, couldn't care, _wouldn't_ care... Not while his heart hurt like it did.

Little was he surprised when he found his footfalls crossing along the jetty, he pausing at its end to peer into the ocean's hold. And while his expression rippled in the waves, focus empty in his regard, he could nearly imagine Roxas leaning forward beside him, blue eyes swimming with the wildlife below.

The remaining member simply gar-hawed at the misfortune of his friends, moments later dragged into the water to join them.

As though he didn't know.

As though he hadn't existed.

But perhaps to some extent, the entire affair had been abuse to his perspective, certainly Riku easily without someone who resembled someone so closely to Sora. And where he thought it would hurt less to consider such foolery, he felt his heart wrench with his discontent, distressed to find he seeking such a simple excuse as to why he had been abandoned.

Yet maybe it would have been easier to believe that Roxas had meant

"Riku?.. What are you doing out here?" For an instant, the male failed to move, gradually providing a glance over his shoulder to observe Selphie. Quietly, she waited, head canted in her given concern as her features were painted with worry. Needless, he could imagine what senseless babble was presently running through her head, he presently occupying her day-time space with his indecision.

His love for Roxas.

".. Does it matter?" he retorted, however preparing to stand as he planted a hand against the platform. She, noticing, quickly waved him off, hands raised to banish the idea of him leaving as she displaced a step of their enclosed space.

"No. I just curious, that's all I'll see you later, Riku." And then left to the means of his own devices, to the privacy of his thoughts, his longing, his mourning, he could do little else but watch her leave, jubilant in her retreat to join the nearby company of Wakka and Tidus - who, to his amusement, were watching him with a vague intensity. Did they find him stupid or absent minded? Perhaps both?

Entertained that perhaps Sora was rubbing off on him, far from wanting to shoulder such habits, he allowed his attention to wander, Riku finding himself only admiring his reflection once more.

To some extent, he realized he felt bitter, sour at the thought Roxas had high-tailed it at the first sign of commitment. And yet another portion of him resented such ideas, aware that if Sora had been able to dedicate his life to simply finding his best friends.. Then the blond was certain to be of equal nature. They were _part_ of each other...

... And yet Roxas had managed to show him many things Sora was not.

The blond has fast become an individual Riku found himself longing to be with, his yearning mounting to a terrible degree when he found himself without. And yet it was never a comfort to realize he was a short walk from his home, sharing residents with his Other, likely poor in the company of someone so energetic, so raw, so terribly naive they couldn't see their hand before their face. And perhaps it was to that extreme that allowed the taller male to find him so attractive, so allured to his socially inept person, frowning where Sora might smile, brooding where Sora might laugh... They were polar opposites...

.. And yet Riku doubt he would ever find someone he could care so deeply for and mean so much to him that would combat his relationship with his best friend.

And now he was without, robbed of this presence that had completed him.

Sighing in his heartache, Riku decided to simply remain upon the jetty, listening for the groan of the wood as footfalls would cross its planks, drawing a familiar presence to him, a welcomed scent, a warming touch... Someone who would settle at his side in a silent manner, staring into the oblivion as he so often exercised, occasionally humoring him with a few glances though otherwise quiet in company.

And as the day would beat upon him, eventually blossoming into the tender embrace of dusk, Riku would only wait, dreaming that perhaps Roxas would return to him and they could be together again.


	10. Home is Where the Heart is

**Author's Note(s):** This is the tenth and FINAL part of a **TEN part** prompt challenge I am presently participating in; my particular claim is "RikuRoku," and a few details have been adjusted to make the coupling.. Possible? This collection of fanfictions, thus, may contain spoilers to the end of Kingdom Hearts II. Just be prepared for that. 

And lots of Roxas-emo. :) Please review

**This particular story's prompt**: Welcome Home

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, the Kingdom Hearts characters and the related universe do not, in any manner, belong to me, but instead to the respective creator's of Squeenix, and Disney. Kudos to them.

**

* * *

**

".. I didn't belong there."

It was a cold realization as Roxas existed in a singular realm, closed to the world that had once surrounded him. A world that had once delivered upon him unbelievable happiness, however at a price.

Locked deep within Sora's subconscious where the brunet could not reach him, Roxas thrived alone, and suffered alone, pulled into his personal darkness that he hadn't thought a nobody to compose. And it was here he could forget about his loss, forget about the life he could have had, a life he could have pretended to know, a life that was now beyond his grasp and forever would be.

A life he would nonetheless long to keep as his own.

It was in this life that he had come to know an unbearable truth, that love beyond all else was as painful as any wound, as scarring as any marred flesh, and as penetrating as the deepest frost in the dead of winter. And it remained, tearing at him slowly, reminding him that he was not meant to be happy, nor was he meant to exist.

Namine had told him so.

Here he could hear Sora's cries, countless times a day, numerous shouts of encouragement, attempting to draw him from this shell he had built around himself. Or perhaps it was the other's sick satisfaction to realize he had triumphed once again, silencing a bitter problem that may have come to hinder his and Riku's relationship--

Banishing the thought as quickly as it had come, Roxas could only groan within his dismay, realizing Sora would never cheat him of a life had he known he could offer it to him. Sora would have given him his heart, nearly willing the time prior, and never once consider the consequences...

How often in a day did Roxas recall the boy's memories, his only dependent resource to watch the interaction he had abandoned? Through Sora's eyes he could see himself, caught in Riku's arms as he inclined his head, lips quickly seeking Riku's with their features flushed. Then the brunet would call to them, interrupting this pale affection, and they'd turn from the other, frantic in their embarrassment for having been caught.

And yet as Sora would walk away to greet their company, he'd steal a glance back to find Riku taking Roxas' hand, kissing his knuckles with a tender, if not romantic nature.

No one in the world had known them to be in love.. Until that day.

But with Sora's heart had gone Roxas' longing for Riku, he nonetheless aware of his wrenching ache with every instant he witnessed his love within his Other's memories. It was to that extent he couldn't bring himself to surface, aware he couldn't look upon the other without grief, wishing to only hold him once more, to feel his warmth, his touch, his desire...

Yet it was Namine who had brought reality rushing back to greet him, reminding him that he was as heartless and cold as the next, his existence futile and without value. No amount of love would have been able to prove otherwise, he rationalized, biting aside his pain to the idea that perhaps one day, Riku would find another. Maybe then he could be truly happy.

".. I didn't belong there," Roxas reminded himself.

".. Is that what you think? You didn't belong?"

Jolted with panic, the blonde searched for the source of the voice, however unable to determine from where it had come. But it did not remind him of Sora, yet there could be no other to speak within the brunet.

".. Close your eyes, Roxas.. You know who I am.. You're just making yourself forget."

_To forget the pain._ Roxas wanted to reply, without the eyes to close at which they spoke, but nonetheless imagining his physical self cooperating. And there she was, as pristine and bright as day, smiling patiently at him in a manner entirely familiar. Politely, Namine waved, he lifting a hand in return, then pausing to regard the phantom limb.

"Don't worry.. You're safe here. We're some place we both should know." He could see it then, the long, white table that stretched before him, the walls an equal wash and littered with her drawings. He could recall a time where he had wandered this room, peering at her artwork in a curious fashion, attempting to recall a hidden truth only she could reveal to him. The witch.. A witch over memories.

".. What are you doing here, Namine?" he asked quietly, accepting a chair he sat in a time before, leaning forward upon a surface imprinted with the weight of his elbows. "Why did you come to see me?"

"Because Sora's been calling for you, and you weren't answering," she answered simply, brows furrowed with her concern. "We've been looking for you.. Waiting.. We thought maybe you had disappeared-"

"Like I'm supposed to? I'm a Nobody, remember?" Bitter, he sat back upon his seat, fingertips drumming against the arm rest as he supplied the nearby window a dark glance. But the pale silhouette of the forest didn't reside beyond the glass, a simple emptiness filling the oblivion. This room was a ruse, a mere meeting point for the apparitions to discuss, locked outside of a space and time that would allow them physical interactions.

"Roxas, I know you're hurt, and-"

"You told me I was a Nobody, Namine.. And I wasn't supposed to exist. I'm a part of Sora, a part he needs. And without me, he'll lose his heart again, right? I'll just take it from him. So I guess you were right. I wasn't supposed to exist.. And now I'm not."

Sadly, the blonde looked upon her friend as her hands laced together in her lap, she regarding him with a timid nature. Then slowly she shook her head, bowing her chin against her chest as her features only twisted with her grief.

".. I was wrong.. Nobodies.. They can exist.. We all can..."

For a beat, Roxas slipped into a heavy silence, staring hard at the girl seated across from him, the distance immeasurable as he felt it to only stretch. And then shaking his head, mirroring her gesture, he dropped his attention to the floor in his growing dismay.

".. I don't need it. I'm fine like this.. Inside Sora," he replied, slowly pushing from his seat as his gaze remained averted. Traveling to the nearest wall, he touched the sketch of he and Axel, fist clinching as he recalled his best friend's sacrifice.. For what? To save Sora.

Everyone was always saving Sora.

".. And Riku?"

Turning to face the girl, finding her focus upon him, he said nothing, contemplating for a short time; Riku had never been dependent upon anyone, something he had easily decided from his Other's memories. Strong, brave and a natural leader, he had advanced without assistance, drawn to the darkness by misguidance, and lead astray from the path of light. Why would Riku need him, a creature of shadows?

".. He won't miss me."

".. You're wrong, Roxas.. He does miss you... He misses you more than anything." Finding Roxas' back to her, she pressed onward, urgent that he believe her. "Search deep within Sora.. Look at his memories. Find Riku these past few days and see for yourself."

Yet the idea was beyond fathom, far too painful for the blonde to possibly comprehend; what if he was to do as Namine suggested, and he discovered Riku entirely content without the blonde, much as he expected?

To see him with Sora, smiling and laughing with Sora, forever ignoring the small aspect that nearly changed his life.. To see it absent, and to realize perhaps his Other's best friend didn't appear to acknowledge this missing quality.. It was almost too painful to bear, the thought stinging deep within his chest.

".. Please, Roxas.. Just look."

With a sigh, the blond slumped in his defeat, closing his eyes as he opened his subconsciousness to the memories he had resisted to accept. And as they flooded through him, visions of Sora dreaming, enjoying breakfast, visiting and holding Kairi, he could see times where he went to stay with Riku, longing to help his best friend with his unrest.

And there he'd be, seated upon the dock and staring into the distance, features locked from his thoughts as the privacy of his mind firmly guarded them. And while Sora would speak to him, attempting to encourage him for another activity, perhaps to settle somewhere else, the other appeared entirely lost within his own world, delayed on the occasion in reaction to where the brunet would only reign forfeit.

Roxas could see he was suffering, and thought it would have been better if he truly had been happy without him.

"He needs you, Roxas.. And I think you need him."

Still confused as to how Namine had managed to worm herself into his solitude, he ventured toward the next doodle, amused to find it replaced of one prior; it depicted Kairi with Namine, and a figure that suspicously resembled Sora, the trio holding hands.. Or so he'd assume.

"... Too bad I can't help him." Nor was he able before; it was up to Sora to remedy his best friend's pain, to fill the void Roxas had left with his leave. Trapped within his Other, he could do little else but admire his love from afar, an eternity to suffer and remember what it was he could have had...

A lifetime to try and forget.

"But you can," she replied quietly, he turning with abrupt surprise as a frown dirtied his features. ".. We found a way."

"We?" Roxas echoed, skeptical to her remark; had it not been she who said he couldn't exist outside of Sora, at least not to a safe degree? Perhaps had he desired to see the brunet changed into a heartless, as much would have been possible, he selfish in his love for Riku, to be with Riku, around Riku, simply near him.. And yet the blond had known that the subject of his affection would not be happy without his best friend there to marvel in his success, could not without him.

And so Roxas, robbed of his own opportunity to live, had sacrificed it to Sora once more, tucking aside his priorities and believing once again.. Perhaps he simply wasn't meant to be.

"Everyone.. Riku, Sora, Kairi.. Wakka, Tidus, Selphie.. _Everyone_ is waiting for you.. And we have a way. But you have to come out of Sora again. You can't keep hiding. You have to face the truth-"

"That I can't be happy.. And I can never be with Riku." He had known the truth, all along, and had simply been too blind to accept it. He had been lost in the dizzying affects of love, blind to reason and logic, unable to witness the inevitable pain that Riku would be stolen from him.. Just as Hayner, Olette and Pence had been. Friends who had never truly been his friends.

_Axel.._

Sadly, Namine would only stare at him as he turned back to admire her doodles, longing to reach out to him and hold him in her lap. She could feel that he was suffering, watching as his shoulders gave a pale tremble before it subsided, he with such a firm control over himself. And she could do little else but shake her head and stare upon him with a sincerest amount of pity, nearly able to picture Riku waiting for him, without hope to avoid the disappointment he wouldn't come like the many times before.

".. He loves you, Roxas. With all his heart.."

Roxas stilled as his head canted to regard the nearest piece of art, inspecting it with a powerful intensity. Then slowly he lifted a hand to draw across the painted lines, fingering the details of a face now haunting him since his leave.

".. Do you love him?"

_More than anything,_ Roxas wanted to reply. With the entirety of his person, his soul, his absent heart, he loved Riku beyond all else, beyond the realm of reason and logic, the hold of time and fate. He was Riku's and he wanted Riku to be his. And forever would he keep this private secret, yearning and longing, desiring and lusting, wishing to bury his face into Riku's chest and simply cry.

".. I do," he stated quietly, fist clenching against the wall. ".. I love him.. I love Riku.." And he could feel the tears coming again as they slipped down his cheek, and he refused to lean upon the wall, simply staring at the image of his tormented love with clouded vision.

"I.. I don't want to be without him.."

Tenderly, Namine placed her hand upon his arm, having roamed from her chair to join him. Smiling as he tried to turn away, she nonetheless leaning to peer into his tear stained face, and she would perform a simple shrug of her shoulders. "Then let's go see him. Together."

Listlessly, he turned to her, Roxas attempting to battle aside his rising hopes; he knew in the end, he would only be disappointed once more. There didn't seem to be a reason to allow himself the gravest belief that perhaps she was right, perhaps there truly was a way... But for now, he could humor her, slowly nodding in a numb fashion and his heart clenching all the while.

It was strange to feel the sunlight piercing through him as he accepted Namine's invitation to revisit Destiny Islands, peering blindingly across the bleak beach as his focus adjusted. And while his attention strayed toward the horizon he and Riku so often admired, he hadn't thought to search for Namine, lost in the reminder of a memory.

"Hey! Roxas!"

Bemused, the blond turned at the call of his name, feeling a slight streak of irate travel through him that she found it necessary to supply a second greeting. "Namine, I'm right-" Yet pausing as he came face to face with Sora instead, he would pinwheel in his surprise, tumbling back upon the sand before his Other could catch his wrist.

And what a firm grasp he had.

Pulling the youth to his feet with a laugh, though nearly stumbling himself in the process, he beamed at his friend as Roxas drowned in his confusion. He didn't understand what had happened, how he had come to be here so suddenly, or where Namine had gone. Hadn't she said they were going to see Riku, but here was Sora...

"See! I told you he'd be back! I knew my plan would work!" Sora called over his shoulder and stepped aside, allowing Roxas the overwhelming sight of the island children to peer at him. They chortled with a similar nature, wrestling amongst each other with what may have been relief, and he entirely lost to these sensations as his mind struggled to accept a sudden change in pace. "I _told_ them my plan would work-"

"_What_ plan?"

Peering at Roxas as though he were a curious specimen, the brunet could only blink, finding himself in an equal daze to see his Other lost. Then regaining himself with a friendly grin, he threw an arm around his shoulders as he began to pull him toward the crowd.

"Namine dreamed it up - she was visiting me in my dreams, I guess. I mean.. After I learned you disappeared because of me.. I kind of felt bad, you know? So we had to do something and.. She came up with it! Great plan! So I guess it really wasn't _my_ plan, though I did think up a bit of it..." Roxas allowed his Other to ramble on as his mind accepted silence, gaze sweeping over those who waited patiently in their approach.

He could see Wakka and Tidus standing nearby, grinning sincerely as Selphie hopped from foot to foot. Kairi waited patiently for Sora to complete their advance, she staring into the distance of the crowd with a serene habit. And there... Nearly out of sight...

Riku watched him thoughtfully, arms folded across his chest with his features disconnected from his emotions. Briefly, their eyes met, then Sora was drawing his attention away as he rambled on with a growing verocity.

"-- And I guess if we connect all our hearts together a little bit, so you have a piece of all of us, you could come back!"

".. Connect all your hearts?"

"So you _are_ listening," Sora remarked with slight disbelief, continuing to grin nonetheless as he nodded. Gesturing to those who waited eagerly, he added quietly, "We all gave you a piece of our hearts.. So you could come back. Can't you feel it?"

Frowning, Roxas directed his gaze to his feet, a hand ghosting to his chest as he attempted to analyze what Sora had explained; Namine had said that in order for him to exist, he would need Sora's heart.. But to take Sora's heart would render him heartless, a creature whose sole existence resided upon taking those of others.. And yet Sora had said they had all given him a piece of their hearts, an individual contribution to build together one entirely for himself.

Without endangering anyone.

Gripping his chest, he closed his eyes, feeling the tender rhythm as it beat against his fingertips. It was a healthy pattern, slow and calm, constant no matter how he waited for it to simple disperse. For it to be a fraud. A false hope... A shattered dream...

".. Thank you," he replied quietly, turning his gaze to Sora and then the other's. And they smiled in return, Selphie once again lost in her emotional turmoil as she cried with delight, nearly tackling Tidus in her need for a hug.

"So..." Tidus chimed quietly as he side-stepped, casting a weary glance at the gathered company, focus drifting to rest upon Wakka as the red-headed eyed him suspiciously. ".. Does this mean Roxas really _isn't_ your distant cousin?"

While Wakka bounced a blitzball off the blond's head, collecting him into an arm lock to hopefully noogie some intellect into his thick skull, Roxas couldn't help but grin as Sora laughed whole-heartedly. And as the brunet answered Tidus, voice rising above his cries, Riku stepped forward from the group, allowing the other male an ample opportunity to flee if desired.

As he had before.

Yet Roxas kept his ground, waiting for the taller male to displace the distance between them, he finally pausing at an arm's length. Then folding his own across his chest, peering almost thoughtfully at the other male, a pale smirk graced his otherwise passive features.

"Thought you could get away without saying goodbye, did you?" he chided, brows lifting in slight before Roxas averted his attention.

".. I hadn't meant to--" And he found himself in the other's arms, pulled into an achingly familiar embrace as Riku held him tight. With the weight of his cheek against his head, Roxas was rendered motionless, abruptly lost in this display where he had believed the other to be cross.

".. Don't do that again," Riku murmured, voice taut with tension. Blinking, the blond peered dazingly toward the trees, admiring the island as his hands itched to come around his love.

Sora, spotting the pair as Riku hugged the other male, turned away as he shared a private smile with Kairi, warmed to feel her hand slip into his. Then lacing their fingers, they directed their attention toward Tidus and Wakka as they began to spar, the company otherwise oblivious to the reunited couple in their slight period of trouble.

"... I won't," Roxas assured as a hand lifted to touch Riku's arm, brows knitting as he felt his heart swell; _his_ heart, his own, beating with a comforting pace against his rib-cage.. His to give to whomever he chose, whom he desired to be with above all else, whom he simply couldn't do without...

Whom had the name Riku.

"Welcome home," his love said as he sighed with his relief.

"I've always been home," Roxas corrected, finally bringing his arms to surround the other male. ".. It just took me awhile to find it."

* * *

And that's the end! Hope you guys enjoyed it, it was quite the ride. ;) 


End file.
